The original reason

The original reason for my blog title was because I needed to lose weight. I was having massive health problems. Problems with my back, my knees, my feet, not to mention my liver, high blood pressure and near diabetes. I made several half assed attempts to lose weight. I'd lose 10 or 15 pounds and then the weight would stop coming off and I'd give up and then gain it all back plus a little more. Finally when we moved back to Fresno and got medical insurance, I had to go in for a physical. When I stepped on the scale the numbers almost gave me a heart attack. 238 pounds. I'm 5'4". I went right past fat and straight into morbidly obese. I wasn't chubby. I wasn't pleasantly plump. I was morbidly obese. I was 110 pounds over my ideal weight for my height and age. I was in candidate for gastric bypass territory. So I went home and decided that I had to do something. I was pushing 250 and I completely refused to go up another size. I was wearing a size 20. So I cut out fast food and started taking Alli. I followed their meal plan and took the medication as per directions. I started walking. EVERY DAY. For miles. I worked my way up to 4-5 miles a day. The weight actually came off pretty fast. I haven't lost it all, but I'm more than half way there. I've lost 60 pounds. That's more than my daughter weighs. I can carry her now and not be totally out of breath. Eventually I added in strength training and that has helped a lot too. I can feel my muscles underneath the fat and they are actually starting to become visible. It's awesome. I've done a lot of research. Over the next few posts, as I can manage them, I'll write about the books I read, and the websites I've found that really helped me. Hopefully I can help someone else to get to where I am and make a difference in someone's life.

Donate Please!!!!!!!!!!

Not to me. Although if you really want to, I won't stop you. On my sidebar is a nifty little doohicky from BlogHer. It's called GlobalGiving and it's raise money for programs for women around the world. So please give if you can. It's an awesome thing to do. Us women have to stick together. Help a sista out won't you?

Nice

So much for April! I blew it already. I have a good excuse. Several actually, but I can't really say. I doubt anybody cares all that much any way. I'm not starting a pity party, I'm just sayin'. I have a six page paper due for class and I'm struggling. Better to write for class than write a bunch of nonsense that doesn't get read much any way. This last week I had three papers to write for class, plus the six pager, so you can understand that I've been busy. The kids had TWO weeks off for spring break and that threw a huge wrench in the works. The first week was cool, but the second week was awful. From the moment they woke up there was much whining, fighting, and running about the house like their asses were on fire. Kids are great. Now that they've been back to school for a week and a half, things aren't much better. We had a busy, busy weekend. My cousin got married and Sunday was my mom's birthday, and we went to a bbq at my sil's house. I think this weekend I'm going to do not a damn thing.

B

Boy do I have a lot of work to do. I have three papers to write in the next three weeks. One of which has to be six pages long. I really need to buckle down and get to work. I hate waiting until the last minute and I'm getting down to the wire. I still have an A in the class and if I can keep it, then I don't have to take the final.

I got my Sweeney Todd dvd in the mail yesterday. I just love that movie. It's so cool. Tim Burton is an awesome film maker and Johnny Depp, HELLO!!! I had good taste even as a youngster. I've liked him since he was on 21 Jump Street.

I found a really cute dress for my cousin's wedding. It's a junior's extra large. I haven't been able to shop in the junior's department for a very long time. The dress fits and I look great in it. As I was shopping and looking at all the cute clothes, most of which I still can't fit into. Instead of looking at a cute shirt and thinking that I'll never fit into it, now I look at it and think in a few months, that shirt is MINE!!!!!!!!! I'm getting there. The last two weeks have been rough because I haven't been working out nearly as much as I should and I just haven't had it in me for the strength training. But I'm still walking as much as possible and watching what I eat. So I'll get all the way back on track within the next week.

A

A is for absolutely frustrated, beyond belief

A is for awesome, someone's going to give me money for school!!!!

I got some totally awesome news today. A woman from the child development department at my school called today. It seems that I qualify for a grant. I go for my orientation on Thursday. I applied for financial aide, but it's iffy because of how much money we made last year. Nevermind that we're not making any money right now. Of course I havent' heard from the school's FA department yet, so things could still go my way. I'm gonna make it!!

Happy Easter

Enjoy your day. Find lots of eggs. Eat too much. Get an enormous sugar high.

Why is it so much work?

Is Easter supposed to be this much work? I'm not even cooking tomorrow and I've still got tons to do.

• hardboil eggs for dying
• dye eggs
• fill plastic eggs for hunt tomorrow
• fill the kid's easter baskets
• do a load of socks and chonies
• cook dinner
• write a paper for class

Actually, that's not that much. Not bad. Have a happy Easter everybody.

I did it!

I did my weekly weigh in this morning and to my great surprise I lost another 3 pounds. I have lost a total of 57 pounds. This puts me past the half way point. I only have 53 pounds to lose. I can say "only" because I've already come this far. I never even thought I'd make it. I've rounded the corner and can see a pair of skinny jeans at the end of the tunnel. I haven't been at my current weight since before Katie was born. In case you don't know, Katie turned 6 in October. Over 6 years. I'm now two pounds away from a weight I haven't seen in almost 8 years. It's wonderful. I could go out right now and buy a pair of size 14 jeans. A size that I haven't worn since just after Mikel was born. Mikel just turned 8.

It feels incredible. All the hard work is paying off. Each time the scale drops is just more motivation to keep going. My cousin is getting married next month. I need to go shopping for a dress and for the first time, in a loooooooong time, I'm excited about going shopping for clothes for myself. I might actually have fun.

Next I'll be running with scissors

Now that I've blown it and missed a couple of days I'm going to throw caution to the wind. I'll run with scissors while eating a lollipop. That's just how I roll.

My parents, my brother, and his kiddos left for the desert today. The whole house to ourselves for three days. Now that's a happy Easter.

My kids get two weeks off for "spring break". They had three weeks off for Christmas. It's anarchy in the Central Unified district. We know how to par-tay here in the central valley folks. That's not a crime spree, those are my relatives.

I just finished reading Rhett Butler's People. It was really interesting to read the story from Rhett's point of view. Being a HUGE, lifelong, Gone With the Wind fan I was skeptical, but pleasantly surprised. As with the other sequel/whatever you want to call it (Scarlett), it was like a continuation of the original. Margaret Mitchell would be proud. Although as I understand it, her estate must approve of the books/writing/authors. I can't say that I'd want a remake of Gone With the Wind, but movies of the two newer books would be interesting. I don't know if they could ever top Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh. It just doesn't get any better than those two.

Well there goes my shot at a prize

I can't believe I missed another day! Oh well. Happy late St. Patrick's day. I wish I could say that I was off drinking lots of green beer, but I wasn't. I was glued to my couch watching Dancing with the Stars. I think Adam Corolla is going to go home first. He looked so uncomfortable. Steve Guttenberg looked like he was having such a good time that I totally overlooked his mistakes. Priscilla Presley scares me. She looks like a plastic surgery nightmare. Does her face even move any more? Cheek implants and botox have not been kind to her. Yikes. Unfortunately American Idol wins out tonight, so I'll be missing the ladies, or at least most of them. I hope they do better than the guys. Go girls!!!!!!!!!!

Don't send the cheesecake just yet

I think I may have turned the corner. I can successfully breathe out of one of my nostrils today. I hate breathing through my mouth. It just bugs me. I'm weird like that.

Today is Mikel's birthday. He's 8 years old. Ok, maybe the cheesecake wouldn't be such a bad idea. I'm the mother on an 8 year old. Frankly I'm amazed we made it this far. He's still alive and healthy. How 'bout that huh? I will say in the last few weeks things have started to turn around. He's been seeing his therapist for about 6 weeks now and while he hasn't been willing to talk to her much, the things she's been able to help me with have made a difference. He's been diagnosed as having ADHD. Which would certainly explain why he bounces off the walls. She hasn't recommended any medication and thinks that there are things we can do for him without resorting to that just yet. I'm relieved. I'm not sure H would go for medicating our son. Of course he needs to be medicated himself, but that's a whole other post. Any hoo, we had Mikel's party last week and it was great. Lots of friends and family. I made an awesome army cake. Mikel helped with the decorating. He was quite proud of himself, I was too.

Happy birthday Mikel, many happy returns.

That's it

I've caught the plague. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, send cheesecake.

It's about dang time!

Finally! I weighed myself yesterday and it said the same damn weight it's said for the past three weeks. So when I went in this morning for the official weigh in, imagine my surprise when it said I weighed two pounds less!!!! I don't know what made the difference. I decided to just not care and I knew that I would eventually start to lose weight again. I tried to eat a little more and just barely made it over 1600 calories. Who would have thought that you would have to work to eat more than 1600 calories? Isn't that just the craziest thing you've ever heard? I even ate fast food. Crazy huh? Taco Bell, Subway, and Panda Express. Of course I can't just go in and order whatever I want, but I still get to eat at some of my favorite places. I feel so much better now. I was really beginning to get pissed off.

Happy Friday everyone!!

I wish I could eat

and

and

My body part?

The other day I grabbed Mikel for a hug and held his head to my chest. The upper part of my chest to be exact. He told me not to hug him like that because his chin was touching my "body part", meaning my breast. I just thought it was so funny that he didn't use a different word.

I've gone four weeks at the same weight and I'm passed frustration and moving full speed ahead to pissed off. The only thing I can think of is that I'm not eating enough. The problem is, I'm not hungry. I don't want to force myself to eat, but I want to lose the rest of this weight. I'm about half way through and some sort of progress would be nice. I don't think I need to excercise any more. I walk for an hour every day and three times a week I do a half hour of strength training. My measurements haven't changed so I don't think I'm losing fat but gaining muscle. I lost, unfortunately my fat is not.

I wish I was

• on a beach
• enjoying the sun
• with a frosty beverage in my hand
• reading a good book
• chowing down on some awesome food
• listening to good music

If anyone is going to Jamaica any time soon, I fit in a suitcase.

I'm tired a lot

I wonder why that is. I've gone to the doctor and had all kinds of blood work and tests done and believe it or not, I'm exceptionally healthy. My liver enzymes are back to normal, cholesterol is good, blood pressure is perfect, and my blood sugar is good. My thyroid is normal. I take all my vitamins and excercise 5-6 days a week. So I'm still not sure why I'm so dang tired all the time. Last night I tossed and turned all night long, until about 4am and then Katie woke me up at 4:45am because she wanted goldfish. Somewhere around here on the page, the bottom I think is my weight loss ticker. I've lost 52 pounds. So, I should be feeling better right? My doctor thinks it's stress. I think if I get any more stressed one day I'll fall asleep and wake up ten years later.

Oops!

I missed a day. Birthday parties and a dozen hyper children will do that to ya. The party was great. If we are unfortunate enough to still be living with my parents when Katie's birthday comes around again we'll be going to Chuck E. Cheese. My parents are entirely too anal about how their house looks. A gang of 8 years old really doesn't care if the lawn has been mowed or if the shelves were dusted. They spent the whole day cleaning. Personally, I make sure the clutter has been removed and any obvious dirt is cleaned up and save the real cleaning for after the party. You still have to pick up once everyone leaves any way. Why clean twice? I did manage to take pictures this time! Cake and all. Hopefully I can actually manage to get them on this computer and posted at some point before his next birthday.

Partay

We're having Mikel's birthday party tomorrow. His birthday is actually next weekend, but he has three baseball games then, so the party comes first. We have our priorities in order. Party, presents, and cake come before athletics. Maybe I'll actually get to take some pictures. I don't have any pictures of Katie's last birthday party. I was busy running around like a maniac. I don't think I even sat down to talk to any body. It was crazy. For extra fun tomorrow we're having twice as many people over as we did for Katie's party. If you never hear from me again I was tragically killed in a bizarre cake decorating accident.

Things I love about my kids

1. Their soft, squishy cheeks
2. Their ability to sleep through the night
3. When they clean up their room
4. Their necks (except my son's right after baseball practice, STINKY!)
5. My daughter's tiny little ears/hands
6. My son's big hugs
7. Their laughter
8. Their ability to sleep through the night
9. They're darn good kids
10. They're so dang smart (I'm not sure I had anything to do with it either)
11. They way they both snore
12. Katie toots whenever she coughs or sneezes. (it's cute now, but that will change)
13. Mikel can make himself a cheese sandwich