PINT

I'm getting brave with these photo challenges

My adorable nephew.  He's such a cutie. You should see him when he's awake.

Meet Me on Monday

Questions:




1. Did you watch the Superbowl? Yes I did although towards the end I started to fall asleep.

2. What is the last book that you read? The Life You've Imagined.  It was surprisingly good! I never get to read for fun any more.  It's always text books for now.

3. What is your favorite kind of cake? Cheesecake! I think I gained back the nine pounds I lost eating the cheesecake my dad got for my birthday.

4. Do you snore? I don't know.  Babe? Do I snore?

5. Do you play an instrument? Nope, unless you count beer bottles!

Six Word Saturday

I will see my love later!

Click on the link to play along with Cate!

At least it was over quickly

On Tuesday and Wednesday I had training in Nonviolent Crisis Intervention.  Basically, I learned how to keep myself from getting hurt by a child.  How sad is that?  The training is to minimize the danger of me and the child of getting hurt.  The whole time I kept thinking, the kids that I work with are so small, when am I actually going to need this? Sure they hit and kick, and sometimes bite but they're little and it's not like I can't just move away from them.

Until today.

When I arrived the house was in utter chaos.  Both siblings running everywhere, cable guys going in and out.  Mom was on the phone.  It looked like something out of a movie.

I went to my little guy to pick him up so we could start our session and he promptly tried to grab my face so he could bite me.  The following hour and a half pretty much went the same way.  Lots of kicking, hitting, biting, and trying to eat the rotting fruit off the ground in the backyard.  His older brother, who's still only 3 was also in on the action.  I think he might have actually thrown a shovel full of dirt on me at one point.  Finally after my little guy choked on a pit of some sort of mystery fruit I decided it was time to go back inside.

Another 15 minutes of chaos and I gently suggested to mom that maybe today wasn't a good day for therapy given the fact that there was thick green snot running out of her son's nose.  Thanks for the germs!

I was exhausted and covered in dirt.  Thank goodness my afternoon session cancelled and the morning went by quickly.

Fill in the Blank Friday

1. If I could only read one magazine publication for the rest of eternity, I would choose um, I don't really read magazines. In fact I can't remember the last time I read a magazine.


2. If I were to run my own magazine it would be about being a student and a parent at the same time.  Sounds good right?



3. I buy my magazines (at the grocery check stand or via subscription) at the, I used to have subscriptions, but they just piled up because I never had time to read them.




4. I prefer my magazines (in print or online) in print definitely.  I think blogs are the only things I can read online. The rest I prefer to have in my hand. 



5. The number of magazines I buy each month is 0. I'm poor, and I have too much homework.


6. My favorite magazine genre is (lifestyle, gossip, home, etc...) I guess it would be lifestyle. 




7. The magazines I read regularly are , I used to read Martha Stewart Living and saved all of them.  I was going to be the fourth little pig and build my house out of magazines.  It would have been a beautiful house too.

My not quite happy birthday

I spent my day in training, learning how to restrain kiddos that get out of control before they hurt themselves or someone else.  Not the best way to spend a birthday, but it could have been worse.  It was pretty entertaining to watch the people in the bank across the way watching as we blocked punches and learned two man control holds.  Sounds exciting huh?!  It was fun even though the reason we were there wasn't so fun.

I had to take my truck into the shop because it had developed a pretty severe oil leak.  Half way through the day, I get a text message from my mom.  $1500 to fix my truck.  Ugh.  Really? I just spent over $500 three months ago to fix other problems.  I need a new truck.

On the bright side, I got tons of birthday wishes from my friends and my dad bought be cheesecake! How awesome is that.  I love cheesecake!  One of the best birthday presents ever!

P.S. He took the job in Santa Monica.  He should be home on the weekends, but I'm a big baby and don't want to be without him at all.

Wordless Wednesday

Waiting for him to come home. I know just how she feels.

Hoo Are You?

1. Are you married/in a relationship/single? For how long? I'm in a relationship, for two years now.  Wow, officially the second longest relationship I've ever had.  I love it! I'm so happy!


2. What do you do for a living? Do you enjoy it? Right now I'm a Behavioral Therapist working with children on the Autism Spectrum.  I love my job!

3. In what state do you live? Where were you born and raised? I live in California. I was born and raised in the Central Valley and I hope to get the hell out of here soon.

4. Do you have children? If so, how many? If not, do you want them? Yes, I have two children. Their sole mission in life is to drive me insane.

5. Who is your favorite blogger to follow and why? I'm gonna be a sissy and say there are too many to chose from.

PINT

I didn't know if I should cry, or punch them

During my first session today I was talking to a parent about activities that would help their child's fine motor development.  The child is having some difficulty holding a pencil and doing some other activities that require fine motor control.  We were discussing using a Mr. Potato head and how some of the pieces were hard to push into Mr. Potato.  I was telling them that that even pushing and pulling the pieces would build strength in the child's hands.  That's when I was told, "they don't need to build strength, they're just lazy."

Lazy? A four-year old that can't sit still is lazy? Really?

I get it, I really do.  These parents are still mourning the perfect child they thought they were going to have.  But this child is who they are going to be.  I don't think there is such a thing as a lazy four-year old.  That comment just broke my heart.  The child doesn't want to do those things because they are hard for them.  For all we know it hurts them.  The child can't tell us.  I watched the frustration on their face this morning.  I saw the poor baby's hands shake while trying to put two pieces of train track together.  I wanted to cry.  I felt so bad for that child.  How sad is it when your own parents can't accept your disability and think because you don't want to do something that you're lazy?

Up until two months ago I didn't know this child.  But when they make eye contact and smile at me, there is joy in my heart.  If they would let me, I'd hug them. Do their parents feel the same way? Or only see what they want to change so their child is "normal"?

I love, love, love this song

I think this woman may have followed me my entire life. Scary. 

Photo Challenge

Inside the Anaheim Convention Center.  Check out the staircase in the background.  That place was HUGE!

Meet Me on Monday

I'm going to do this early since I don't know if I'll have time tomorrow.

Questions:




1. What do you put on your hot dog? Ketchup and mayo.  Uncreative yes, but I will occasionally do mustard and relish.

2. Do you play Sudoku?  Sometimes.  I'm addicted to Mahjong Dimensions on Facebook

3. What is your favorite vegetable?  Peas. I think. Lol

4. Do you color your hair? Since high school.  I started getting gray hair early

5. What is your favorite brand of clothing? Comfortable. So that's not a brand, but I work with young children and honestly they don't care what I'm wearing.  I want to be comfortable so I can play with them and not worry about my clothes.

Head over to Never Growing Old to link up!

Military Girlfriends Community

The lovely Kelsey Lauren has started a community for us military girlfriends.  So stop by and say hi, if you're a military girlfriend, sign up!

Military Girlfriend Community

Six Word Saturday

I got to sleep in today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Click on the picture to link up!

Five Question Friday

1. If you had $1,000 to donate to a charity, which would you choose?  That's a tough one, but I'll say the Red Cross because I'm a Red Cross volunteer!






2. Snow days: Do you welcome them happily or are they a pain in your butt? Snow day? What's a snow day? Matter of fact, what is this snow everybody's talking about?





3. What talent did you wish you had and why?  I'd like to be able to play the piano.  Not sure why, but it sounds fun.





4. Are you a news, politics or celebrity gossip junkie? No, I'm a Facebook junkie.  The news is depressing and politics usually just pisses me off lol





5. What is your favorite "cocktail"? (Are you a beer person, a kiddie cocktail junkie, or perhaps your more the "Cosmo" kind?! Anything flies...doesn't hafta be alcoholic!)  Definitely beer, Shiner Bock please.  Best stuff ever!

Answer the questions on your blog and head over to Five Crooked Halos to link up!

Fill in the blank Friday!

Fill in the blanks on your own blog then link up at the little things we do

1. If my house was on fire and I could only grab 3 things I would grab

my laptop, my camera, and my purse.  Of course I would grab my kids, but the question said things!



2. A smell I really like is coffee. Okay, I just love coffee.




3. Something you might not know about me is that I don't like sudden change.  I like to plan ahead and when the plan changes, wow do I get grumpy.  Seriously, I sprout horns and tail.  It's ugly.




4. Some of my favorite websites to putter about on are, I don't really have any.  I'm always busy with homework or blogging. Does Google reader count?




5. This weekend I will be going to see Jeff Dunham on Saturday night.  Double date with my parents lol.  Dinner and lots of laughter, it's going to be a great weekend.


6. Nothing makes me happier than the feeling I get when I get to sleep in on Sundays next to my love.  If he's not here I wake up early.  I love lazy Sundays.




7. A bad habit I have is procrastinating on my homework.  I wait until the last minute and then get grouchy because I don't have enough time to get it done.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Wordless Wednesday

My adorable nephew. He made it to the top by the way.

Post It Note Tuesday

Click the HERE to make your own stickies.  Then click HERE to go link up!

Meet me on Monday

This is a blog hop! Answer the questions on your blog and head over to Never Growing Old to link up!


Questions:




1. What is your favorite kind of fudge? Peanut butter fudge

2. Is there snow outside your window?No, but there is fog, fog, and more fog.  There was no sunshine at my house today.

3. What is your favorite meal of the day?  Breakfast. I love having a big breakfast on the weekends.

4. Do you text on your cell phone?Constantly.  I should probably consider a 12 step group for texting

5. Waffles or pancakes? French toast.  Okay, waffles but they have to have strawberries and whipped cream on them.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm

I see I have 8 followers, but only seven people show up on the list.  Oh mystery follower, who are you?  That's gonna bug me.

If it's my ex-husband. Dude get another hobby and piss off.  If it's not, hi! Whomever you are.

Wow, that hurt soooooooo bad!

I was getting ready to for my 3 nephew's birthday party earlier today and as usual I was drinking a Diet Dr. Pepper.  The boy was in the bathroom with me, making sure his do was in order and I took a drink and coughed at the same time.

Ouch.

Before I knew what happened, I had Diet Dr. Pepper coming out my nose.  It burned like fire!  I wanted to cough, but every time I coughed more soda came out my nose!  My eyes watered, my throat burned. It was ugly. 

The boy notices the fizzy liquid coming out of my nose. Finally.  He looks at me and says, "OMG are you okay?!"

"Yes. It's just soda."

"Why did you do that?"

"I didn't do it on purpose dude. Wow that really hurt."

"Well don't make soda come out of your nose."

"Thanks for the tip son.  I knew I could count on you."

Six Word Saturday

I wish he was here now.

If you want to play along visit Show My Face and link up!

Five Question Friday

1. Where did you meet your spouse and did you instantly know it was love?  Uh, he's not my spouse, yet.  Though there have been many people that have assumed we're married.  Kind of a long story, we actually met in fourth grade.  We graduated junior high together and after pretty much lost touch after that.  Then about two years ago we started chatting on Facebook and now we've been dating for two years.  So a HUGE thank you to Facebook.  I really need to buy that guy a beer.






2. What is your favorite room in your house?  It's not my house :0(. So my favorite room is in my truck, lol because it's actually mine.




3. Can you wiggle your ears? Yes I can! I can't wait to see how many other people can wiggle their ears.




4. What is your evening ritual? It depends on which night of the week or weekend it is, but I do homework, check blogs, watch tv, wash my face, brush my teeth, and go to bed.  Do I know how to party or what?





5. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? I can get by on 5, sometimes less, but if that goes on too long I turn in to the devil.  So really I need 8 hours to be a somewhat pleasant human being.

Fill in the Blank Friday

1. My favorite quote is "I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do." Helen Keller


2. A bad habit I have is interrupting people when they're talking.  Whenever I do it, I realize it about a second after I've interrupted someone and I want to smack myself in the mouth.




3. The first time I felt like a "grown up" was when  . . . . I still don't feel like a "grown up".  I don't wanna grow up. Not being a grown up is what makes me a good teacher, I love to play just as much as the kids do.




4. Weekends are for sleeping in and staying in my pajamas all day while I do my homework.




5. When I was a child I wished my name was  . . . . . I always liked my name.  I never even thought about changing it.


6. I wish I was done with school so I could start working full-time again and get out of my parents house.  I'm too old for this crap.




7. A secret I have is that I love to color.  I have a drawer full of crayons, color pencils, and two different types of markers. (See? Still not a "grown up")

Thursday Thirteen

1. I have a HUGE blister on the bottom of my foot.  It sucks.
2. My son lost a tooth today.  I hope I remember to play Toothfairy.
3. I have forgotten to play Toothfairy several times.
4. I've had to place phone calls and send emails to the Toothfairy to file complaints from my children.
5. Forgetting to play Toothfairy costs extra money.
6. How many teeth do kids lose any way?
7. Since when did teeth become more expensive? I used to get a quarter.
8. These kids better not need braces.
9. It's 11pm and my son is STILL awake.
10. Can you say benadryl?
11. Somebody call me in the morning and remind me to buy his tooth.
12. Okay, I think I'm done with the tooth thing.
13. Technically it's still Thursday for me.

Wordless Wednesday

Hoo are you?

Tuesday blog hop!  I borrowed this from   Dilly Dally  and







Tell us hoo you are!

1. Do you use an alarm clock or some device to wake you up, or do you wake up on your own?

I use an alarm clock.  I don't trust myself to wake up on time.


2. If you could go on any game show, which one would you choose? I'd say Jeopardy, but I don't think I know that much.  So I'll go with Wheel of Fortune cause I think I'd do pretty good on there.

3. Do you prefer the weather to be hot or cold? Hot. I don't like being cold.


4.What color of clothing do you wear the most? I force myself to wear color. I'd wear black all the time otherwise.


5. What is your favorite color?Blue.  Pretty much any shade of blue, which probably explains why I wear a lot of blue. Cause it's close enough to black that I feel like I'm wearing a color. Lol
 

Post It Note Tuesday

Forgive me for the lame post.  It's my first Post It Note Tuesday and it took me FOREVER to figure this shit out.  I feel old right now, and I'm sick. So there!  But I did it!  Thanks for the help Rockin Mama! Next week will be better.

I wasn't sure I was gonna make it

I started out this semester thinking I was out of my mind.  Attending two different colleges and tackling 26 units.  I thought that I could just gut it out and I would be okay.  After the first night of class and really starting to think about how much work my last semester at FPU was going to entail I realized I was taking on too much.  I didn't need the classes at FCC. So I dropped them.  That was a big weight off my shoulders, but I still had a ton of homework hanging over my head.

Friday night I almost hit a wall.  After class on Thursday night and being reminded of how much work I have to get done in the next two weeks, I just felt competely overwhelmed. I didn't know how I was going to finish it all.  I started trying to think about what assignments I could skip and not take too big of a hit on my grade.  I was tired and just didn't want to do it. 

After dropping the classes I cleared two more nights during the week and put my head down and started working my way through what was due first.  15 chapters of physical education for young children.  Ugh. It's really as exciting as it sounds I promise.  Like watching paint dry in the dead of winter.  I have two more assignments left for this class and four days to get them done.  I'll worry about the work for the other class after I finish this one.

I can do this.  Because I have to.

You have got to be kidding me

I got the stink eye from a mom today when she found out I have tattoos.  Seriously?  She has tattoos! Having tattoos and piercings doesn't make me any less capable or professional.  I'm very good at my job.  I'm an honor student for crying out loud! I didn't even have to interview for this job.  I called gave the lady my name and my credentials and that was it.  BAM! Insta job. 

It irritated me. Obviously.  She had this look on her face like she wasn't sure she wanted me around her child.  She has no idea that I've already gone to the mat for this boy twice because the team was expecting too much from him.  I promise I'm not whispering in his ear sweet little nothings about becoming a tattoo covered criminal.  I'm not in recruiting.  I'm president of the tattoo having baby snatchers.  BOO!

Filll in the Blank Friday

1. I feel happy when I get to sleep on my favorite pillow (my boyfriend! lol)
2. I get silly when I'm at work. I get paid to play!
3. Something that makes me sad is I know my son is unhappy and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it.
4. Something that makes me annoyed is people touching my stuff without asking. I'm soooooo OCD.
5. A time when I was truly surprised was my daughter used money her uncle gave her for shopping to buy me a Christmas present.
6. I am so thankful for my parents, children, and boyfriend.  They support me in getting my education and put up with my grumpy ass.
7. I feel loved when my boyfriend takes care of me when I'm sick. I'm used to having to just deal with by myself.  Kinda nice being taken care of. 

That's funny

I'm looking my stats and see that people are being directed to my blog through Google.  How do they get here? By searching "how not to be weird".

People, you have come to the wrong place if you're looking for help with that.  Weird is all we've got here

Thursday Thirteen

1. I hated school when I was a kid.  I still hate it but I can't stop enrolling for classes, even ones I don't need because I'm a nerd.
2. I'm proud of myself for what I have accomplished in the last three years.
3. I absolutely love my job.
4. My favorite color is blue.
5. I actually have to force myself to wear colors other than black.
6. I've been dying my hair since high school when I started getting gray hair.
7. Sometimes I wish I hadn't gotten my tubes tied.
8. Then my sanity returns and I'm glad I did.
9. I love cheesecake.
10. I love to blow bubbles.
11. I bought a 500 pack of crayons just for myself.
12. I have six tattoos and can't wait to get more.
13. I miss having my own house.

License Plate

On my drive to school today I saw a license plate that read "If your rich, I'm your Bitch".

At least she's honest.  I think it was a girl driving.  Maybe I should have checked. Lol

That weird noise you hear . . . . yeah that's me screaming

Ugh, what a day.  It started out so good too.  My only session cancelled (woohoo! free money!) so I had all day to run errands and go to the gym.  Everything was all sunshine, hearts, and rainbows until I got the email from my son's teacher.  He "forgot" part of his homework AGAIN.  Then he decided he didn't care about detention and just didn't go. Awesome.  We're a few incidents away from being invited to be on The Jerry Springer show.  It will descend into an all out brawl because I'll finally give in to temptation and punch my ex right in the neck.  Be sure to set your DVRs, you don't wanna miss that shit.

The icing on the cake though was the notice from my friends at the Franchise Tax Board that my wages are being garnished! It's nice when friends keep in touch don't you think?  Most would send a card, a text, maybe even write a letter.  But not these guys! Oh no, not them.  They've chosen to give me the gift that keeps on giving.  I believe it's called an ulcer.  Who am I kidding? It's not really their fault.  They're just doing their job.  It's my ex-husbands fault. Stupid, stupid paperboy.  This children is what happens when you don't delcare income.  FTB doesn't care that the employer didn't send you your paperwork.  They also don't care that we're not married any more hence the garnishment of my wages.

There is a silver lining though.  They tracked his happy ass down and are garnishing his wages too.  The icing on the cake? He gets paid every week, and I only get paid once a month. Haha sucker!

It's amazing what bad habits you can kick by getting your tongue pierced

On New Year's Eve, because I'm a total idiot, I got my tongue pierced.  This wasn't exactly a spur of the moment decision.  I've been thinking about it for awhile.  I took a baby step and got my tragus pierced, google it if you want to know what it is.  It's nothing dirty. Perverts! Since my awesome boyfriend got me a gift certificate to our favorite tattoo place and since my favorite artist is also a piercer, it seemed like perfect timing.  I did go on Wednesday, thinking I could get it done then and the worst would be over by New Years Eve.  Best laid plans and all that.  Oops.

I won't say I quit smoking, but I did stop smoking on Tuesday because I knew it would slow the healing process.  I haven't really wanted a cigarette since, so I'll just go on not "quitting" and see how long it lasts.  I figure if I actually quit then I can just as easily start again.  Not officially quitting means no official starting again.

Also, I have cut way back on how many sodas I drink a day.  I started drinking lots of water right after I got the piercing cause it was pretty much the only thing I could tolerate.  One bad habit almost gone in favor of a good one.  I used to drink practically 6 sodas a day, sometimes more.  So I feel pretty good about cutting it down to one or two a day.  Hopefully I'll get rid of soda all together.  Now if I could just get my fat ass to the gym.

Hello my name is Rachel and I was addicted to the "ville" games on Facebook

"Hi Rachel!"

A little over two years ago I got divorced and thank god, my now ex-husband moved out.  The bad thing was, joint custody.  I had all this freedom! Well once I had stopped drinking my way through the weeks he had the kids.  It was a ugly at first. But getting back to my point.  So the kids are with their dad and here I am will all this time on my hands.  I had to find something to do and I'm not really into the whole bar/club scene. I'd much rather drink at home.  It's cheaper and there are a lot less stupid people to deal with. So I started playing all these damn life sucking games on Facebook and good lord they suck you in! You have to have a bigger farm and more friends and they have to help you harvest your crops!

 Then there is more than one farm game and then because they not only want your life, they want your money too there's all these nifty things you can buy for your farm, amusement park, bakery, mafia, island, etc., etc.  But here's the kicker, all those cool things cost money, not "play" money, real money.  I'll admit, I spent money on the stupid horseshoes.  Not a lot.  About twenty bucks and then I refused, REFUSED to spend any more because how ridiculous was that? I was spending money on shit I didn't even OWN.  Like I wasn't broke enough already? I just threw money away.  Seriously, $20? That's a least a twelve pack and a pack of cigarettes both of which are more fun and at least give me a buzz.

Then, a little over a week ago I had a friend post, on Facebook no less, that she was deleting all of the games. You know who you are you sexy bitch! ;oP I remember thinking, "I can't do that! What would I do when I got bored?! OMG!" Then in the midst of planting my crops, cooking in my cafe, and building a city I realized this shit sucked.  Really? The amount of time I spent doing all this shit and planning when I would be home to harvest my crops or serve my dishes was just insane.  I would actually sit here at my computer and figure out how many hours it would be until I would be home to check on my games.  Lame!

 So I took a deep breath, removed the applications from my account and then blocked the feeds so I wouldn't see all the requests for boards, or goats, or whatever silly shit somebody needed for their farm, frontier, or cafe.   I even took it a step further and deleted all the "friends" that I didn't really know and just had on there because you need more neighbors to unlock more cool shit! I'll admit my life isn't any richer for having removed them, but now I at least have the time I should have always had to do something productive. Like whine on my blog or harass my children.  The added bonus is that I can actually see what my real friends are up to, which is sort of the whole reason I started using Facebook in the first place.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel . . . . . .

The sad thing is, it appears to be moving away from me. I'm staring down the barrel of the semester from hell and I just can't work up anything close to enthusiasm for it.  I'm tired of being at school all the time.  I'm tired of having massive amounts of homework breathing down my neck constantly.  Mostly I'm tired of not being able to work full-time due to needing time for school.  This shit better pay off.  Twenty-six units this semester. Holy shit. At two different schools no less.  The icing on the cake is that I have the kids full-time again.  A weekend isn't enough time to catch my breath much less take a break.

At this point I'm so close to burning out.  I just want to run away and leave everything behind.  Go somewhere nobody knows me and start over.  Let the ex have the kids and move to another country.  I feel so buried.  It's not overwhelming, it's exhausting. 

You ever make a choice and years later think, "damn, I fucked up."  I should have taken that job when it was offered to me.  I could be in some hellhole with no indoor plumbing, covered in dirt and probably having the time of my life.  It sounded like fun. Oh well. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

25 Questions. Because I'm avoiding homework

1. How far away do you live from your parents? Ugh, I live with my parents. But only because I have to.


2. What did you get in the mail today? I don't know yet. Our mailman is the slowest EVER


3. How do you like your steak cooked?: Medium rare!



4. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind? Absolutely. My most favorite movie!


5. Have you ever been to Mt Rushmore? Nope



6. Is it just me, or was The Marine (w/John Cena) a really horrible movie? No, it isn't just you. That movie is horrible.


7. Do you smoke cigarettes? Not right now. I quit so I could get my tongue pierced. One vice for another!


8. Are you currently planning a trip? No, but I sure wish I was.


9. Is Ryan Seacrest gay? Should anyone care? I don't know and no, we shouldn't care.  As long as he's not hitting on my boyfriend Mr. Seacrest can do whomever he wants.


10. Do you take anti-depressants? No



11. Do you ever take sleeping pills? No, that's what beer and sex are for.



12. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21? Yes. Long story and probably a damn funny blog post.


13. Do you watch MTV anymore? Yes. Lately for some reason I keep watching it.  Nitro Circus is pretty funny.


14. What kind of car do you drive? A POS Jeep.  Please steal that piece of shit.

15. Honestly, is that car insured? Yes, that's why I want you to steal it!


16. Do you like sushi? Never tried it. Kinda scared to with all of my allergies.


17. Do you like roller coasters? Hell yes!


18. What magazine(s) do you buy regularly or subscribe to? None. They just pile up and then I throw them away.


19. Do you own an iPad? Do you plan to buy an iPad if you don't already have one? No, probably not.


20. Was your dad named after anyone? His dad


21. What’s the longest time that you‘ve been involved with the same person? Almost thirteen years


22. What is something that you‘d rather be a bit dirty?: Sex. (I stole this answer ... kinda hard to disagree with that one!)



23. What was your best/favorite subject at school? English or Art


24. Describe your accent: Californian lol


25. What do you wear to sleep? Sometimes nothing and sometimes shorts and a t-shirt

On Hold

"Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold. Your call will be answered in the order it was recieved."

If my call is so damn important, why haven't you answered the freakin' phone?! I've been on hold for over half an hour now. If my call will be answered in the order it was received then everybody and their grandmother must be calling today. Don't make me come down there!

I don't know why

Don't go looking, you may not like what you find. The internet is a bitch. I shouldn't let the things I see bother me. My head knows they're not big deal, but my heart says something different. Underneath everything is fear. The fear that I a really am not good enough. Fear that my weight is the problem, even after losing over 80 pounds. I can't get him out of my head, and I hate it. It's funny how someting so small has so much power over us if we let it.

Why can't I believe the words I hear? Why is it that fear and doubt won't just go away and let me be happy? The stress, exhaustion, fear, anger, and frustration have just turned me into a grumpy bitch. How do I get rid of all this? I'm so tired.

Kiddos

Today was a good day. We actually went shopping and nobody died. I was surprised that you noticed how much money we were spending. How far we've come, it used to be that you asked without thinking about the cost. Now you know. It made my heart glad to be able to take you shopping and buy you the clothes you wanted. There were a few rough spots, but all in all it was a successful outing. Thanks for not coming unglued in WalMart and realizing that Sunday afternoons are not the best time to shop there.

Love,

Mom

Dearest little ones,

You're not so little any more, and I miss the days when I could sit in the rocking chair with you asleep on my chest and listen to you breathe. Now you're almost as tall as I am and I have no hope of being able to carry you in my arms again. Every once in a while I'll look at you and see the baby you were. I remember when it was just you and me and our days were filled with nothing but each other. I could afford to live my life for nothing but you. My only job was to see that you were happy. I can't do that any more and I'm more sorry about that than you'll ever possibly know. I feel like I failed you. Not just because of the divorce but because I brought you into this world thinking only of myself and what I wanted. I wanted you so badly. From the moment I knew you were on your way to me I loved you more than anything in this world. The problem is, I didn't think and couldn't possibly comprehend just what having you meant. Forgive me, I was young and didn't know any better. I want so bad to make it right.

Now our days are spent apart. I feel like I'm letting your dad and your grandparents raise you. The time we have together is spent arguing and full of frustration. I'm so sorry I'm not there. I'm sorry I couldn't make it work. I'm doing the best I can, but I feel like it's not enough. You deserve so much more. I spend the week you're gone missing you and worrying like crazy that you're not eating right, that you're too hot or too cold, that you're being taught how to live right. I've stretched myself so thin that even the time I take to spend with you I'm worrying that my homework isn't done or what else I should be doing. So much just falls to the side or gets pushed away I feel like we're only living half a life.

I'm sorry babies. I really am. But I wouldn't take it back. I wouldn't trade anything for having you here. You are my greatest pride, you're what drives me when I think I can't do any more. Know that one day soon I'll reach my goals and we'll have a place of our own. I'll straighten out this mess I've made for us. I promise you'll get your mom back and she'll be even better for the hell she's gone through to get back to you.

Love,

Mom

What was I thinking?

12 units for Fall semester, working a whopping 9 hours a week, three hours of lab a week, and homework! I must have lost my damn mind. This is only the first week of class and I'm already freaking out. I'm not going to have time for anything. I will not have a life for the next three and a half months. Seriously I hope I only have one more semester until I finish, because I don't know if I can keep this up. This sucks!

Whatever

I can't believe that I've neglected my blog for so long. I guess with everything else that's going on, it just gets pushed back. Plus someone that knows me found my blog and while I've always felt that this is my space to say whatever I wanted to, knowing that someone I knew was reading it made it feel like I couldn't say what I wanted to. I know some people consider some subjects sacred and that they just don't talk about them. But this blog is about me and if can't write about me and my true feelings, then what is this space for? So, the short version is that I'm getting divorced and I had posted a couple of times regarding that. I had to take them down, due to this person finding my blog. I really wanted to write about my feelings about the divorce and the problems I was having with my kids and I don't think I've figured out how to do that without dragging them into it. My kids or my ex-husband. I don't want to use this space negatively. So please pardon my dust while I remodel and figure things out. The enteries my be utter nonsense for a while until I get my thoughts straight.

Interesting Info.

I found this article on one of the message boards I participate on. I think any one who weighs in regularly will find the information helpful. Stepping on the scale and not seeing what you want to see can be frustrating and depressing. The scale is not always your best friend and sometimes it outright lies to you! I only weigh myself once a week and I do it first thing in the morning at the same time every week. So far it's worked out pretty well for me. I also take my measurements every week so that even if I can't see that I'm getting smaller, the tape doesn't lie! Have a good weekend, go out and do something!

Something new

I want to try and get back to the original reason I started using the blog. I've lost about 60 pounds and done a ton of research. I want to put all the stuff I found out there so hopefully someone else can use it and hopefully lose weight or adopt a more healthy lifestyle. I list books that I've read and products that I've found that are either food or supplements. I'm not being paid by anyone to write about any of it. I just want to share what has helped me in the hopes that it will help someone else.

So, that being said the first nifty find I want to share is the Lipton green tea To Go packets. They come in several different flavors are sugar and calorie free. My favorites so far are Blueberry Pomegranate and Mandarin Mango. I add a packet of splenda to it, cause I like it a little sweeter, but it does taste good without. You just add the packet to a 16.9 ounce bottle of water and away you go. If you're looking for away to drink more water this will definitely make it easier. Not to mention green tea is great for your metabolism. Drink up!

The original reason

The original reason for my blog title was because I needed to lose weight. I was having massive health problems. Problems with my back, my knees, my feet, not to mention my liver, high blood pressure and near diabetes. I made several half assed attempts to lose weight. I'd lose 10 or 15 pounds and then the weight would stop coming off and I'd give up and then gain it all back plus a little more. Finally when we moved back to Fresno and got medical insurance, I had to go in for a physical. When I stepped on the scale the numbers almost gave me a heart attack. 238 pounds. I'm 5'4". I went right past fat and straight into morbidly obese. I wasn't chubby. I wasn't pleasantly plump. I was morbidly obese. I was 110 pounds over my ideal weight for my height and age. I was in candidate for gastric bypass territory. So I went home and decided that I had to do something. I was pushing 250 and I completely refused to go up another size. I was wearing a size 20. So I cut out fast food and started taking Alli. I followed their meal plan and took the medication as per directions. I started walking. EVERY DAY. For miles. I worked my way up to 4-5 miles a day. The weight actually came off pretty fast. I haven't lost it all, but I'm more than half way there. I've lost 60 pounds. That's more than my daughter weighs. I can carry her now and not be totally out of breath. Eventually I added in strength training and that has helped a lot too. I can feel my muscles underneath the fat and they are actually starting to become visible. It's awesome. I've done a lot of research. Over the next few posts, as I can manage them, I'll write about the books I read, and the websites I've found that really helped me. Hopefully I can help someone else to get to where I am and make a difference in someone's life.

Donate Please!!!!!!!!!!

Not to me. Although if you really want to, I won't stop you. On my sidebar is a nifty little doohicky from BlogHer. It's called GlobalGiving and it's raise money for programs for women around the world. So please give if you can. It's an awesome thing to do. Us women have to stick together. Help a sista out won't you?

Nice

So much for April! I blew it already. I have a good excuse. Several actually, but I can't really say. I doubt anybody cares all that much any way. I'm not starting a pity party, I'm just sayin'. I have a six page paper due for class and I'm struggling. Better to write for class than write a bunch of nonsense that doesn't get read much any way. This last week I had three papers to write for class, plus the six pager, so you can understand that I've been busy. The kids had TWO weeks off for spring break and that threw a huge wrench in the works. The first week was cool, but the second week was awful. From the moment they woke up there was much whining, fighting, and running about the house like their asses were on fire. Kids are great. Now that they've been back to school for a week and a half, things aren't much better. We had a busy, busy weekend. My cousin got married and Sunday was my mom's birthday, and we went to a bbq at my sil's house. I think this weekend I'm going to do not a damn thing.

B

Boy do I have a lot of work to do. I have three papers to write in the next three weeks. One of which has to be six pages long. I really need to buckle down and get to work. I hate waiting until the last minute and I'm getting down to the wire. I still have an A in the class and if I can keep it, then I don't have to take the final.

I got my Sweeney Todd dvd in the mail yesterday. I just love that movie. It's so cool. Tim Burton is an awesome film maker and Johnny Depp, HELLO!!! I had good taste even as a youngster. I've liked him since he was on 21 Jump Street.

I found a really cute dress for my cousin's wedding. It's a junior's extra large. I haven't been able to shop in the junior's department for a very long time. The dress fits and I look great in it. As I was shopping and looking at all the cute clothes, most of which I still can't fit into. Instead of looking at a cute shirt and thinking that I'll never fit into it, now I look at it and think in a few months, that shirt is MINE!!!!!!!!! I'm getting there. The last two weeks have been rough because I haven't been working out nearly as much as I should and I just haven't had it in me for the strength training. But I'm still walking as much as possible and watching what I eat. So I'll get all the way back on track within the next week.

A

A is for absolutely frustrated, beyond belief

A is for awesome, someone's going to give me money for school!!!!

I got some totally awesome news today. A woman from the child development department at my school called today. It seems that I qualify for a grant. I go for my orientation on Thursday. I applied for financial aide, but it's iffy because of how much money we made last year. Nevermind that we're not making any money right now. Of course I havent' heard from the school's FA department yet, so things could still go my way. I'm gonna make it!!

Happy Easter

Enjoy your day. Find lots of eggs. Eat too much. Get an enormous sugar high.

Why is it so much work?

Is Easter supposed to be this much work? I'm not even cooking tomorrow and I've still got tons to do.

• hardboil eggs for dying
• dye eggs
• fill plastic eggs for hunt tomorrow
• fill the kid's easter baskets
• do a load of socks and chonies
• cook dinner
• write a paper for class

Actually, that's not that much. Not bad. Have a happy Easter everybody.

I did it!

I did my weekly weigh in this morning and to my great surprise I lost another 3 pounds. I have lost a total of 57 pounds. This puts me past the half way point. I only have 53 pounds to lose. I can say "only" because I've already come this far. I never even thought I'd make it. I've rounded the corner and can see a pair of skinny jeans at the end of the tunnel. I haven't been at my current weight since before Katie was born. In case you don't know, Katie turned 6 in October. Over 6 years. I'm now two pounds away from a weight I haven't seen in almost 8 years. It's wonderful. I could go out right now and buy a pair of size 14 jeans. A size that I haven't worn since just after Mikel was born. Mikel just turned 8.

It feels incredible. All the hard work is paying off. Each time the scale drops is just more motivation to keep going. My cousin is getting married next month. I need to go shopping for a dress and for the first time, in a loooooooong time, I'm excited about going shopping for clothes for myself. I might actually have fun.

Next I'll be running with scissors

Now that I've blown it and missed a couple of days I'm going to throw caution to the wind. I'll run with scissors while eating a lollipop. That's just how I roll.

My parents, my brother, and his kiddos left for the desert today. The whole house to ourselves for three days. Now that's a happy Easter.

My kids get two weeks off for "spring break". They had three weeks off for Christmas. It's anarchy in the Central Unified district. We know how to par-tay here in the central valley folks. That's not a crime spree, those are my relatives.

I just finished reading Rhett Butler's People. It was really interesting to read the story from Rhett's point of view. Being a HUGE, lifelong, Gone With the Wind fan I was skeptical, but pleasantly surprised. As with the other sequel/whatever you want to call it (Scarlett), it was like a continuation of the original. Margaret Mitchell would be proud. Although as I understand it, her estate must approve of the books/writing/authors. I can't say that I'd want a remake of Gone With the Wind, but movies of the two newer books would be interesting. I don't know if they could ever top Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh. It just doesn't get any better than those two.

Well there goes my shot at a prize

I can't believe I missed another day! Oh well. Happy late St. Patrick's day. I wish I could say that I was off drinking lots of green beer, but I wasn't. I was glued to my couch watching Dancing with the Stars. I think Adam Corolla is going to go home first. He looked so uncomfortable. Steve Guttenberg looked like he was having such a good time that I totally overlooked his mistakes. Priscilla Presley scares me. She looks like a plastic surgery nightmare. Does her face even move any more? Cheek implants and botox have not been kind to her. Yikes. Unfortunately American Idol wins out tonight, so I'll be missing the ladies, or at least most of them. I hope they do better than the guys. Go girls!!!!!!!!!!

Don't send the cheesecake just yet

I think I may have turned the corner. I can successfully breathe out of one of my nostrils today. I hate breathing through my mouth. It just bugs me. I'm weird like that.

Today is Mikel's birthday. He's 8 years old. Ok, maybe the cheesecake wouldn't be such a bad idea. I'm the mother on an 8 year old. Frankly I'm amazed we made it this far. He's still alive and healthy. How 'bout that huh? I will say in the last few weeks things have started to turn around. He's been seeing his therapist for about 6 weeks now and while he hasn't been willing to talk to her much, the things she's been able to help me with have made a difference. He's been diagnosed as having ADHD. Which would certainly explain why he bounces off the walls. She hasn't recommended any medication and thinks that there are things we can do for him without resorting to that just yet. I'm relieved. I'm not sure H would go for medicating our son. Of course he needs to be medicated himself, but that's a whole other post. Any hoo, we had Mikel's party last week and it was great. Lots of friends and family. I made an awesome army cake. Mikel helped with the decorating. He was quite proud of himself, I was too.

Happy birthday Mikel, many happy returns.

That's it

I've caught the plague. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, send cheesecake.

It's about dang time!

Finally! I weighed myself yesterday and it said the same damn weight it's said for the past three weeks. So when I went in this morning for the official weigh in, imagine my surprise when it said I weighed two pounds less!!!! I don't know what made the difference. I decided to just not care and I knew that I would eventually start to lose weight again. I tried to eat a little more and just barely made it over 1600 calories. Who would have thought that you would have to work to eat more than 1600 calories? Isn't that just the craziest thing you've ever heard? I even ate fast food. Crazy huh? Taco Bell, Subway, and Panda Express. Of course I can't just go in and order whatever I want, but I still get to eat at some of my favorite places. I feel so much better now. I was really beginning to get pissed off.

Happy Friday everyone!!

I wish I could eat

and

and

My body part?

The other day I grabbed Mikel for a hug and held his head to my chest. The upper part of my chest to be exact. He told me not to hug him like that because his chin was touching my "body part", meaning my breast. I just thought it was so funny that he didn't use a different word.

I've gone four weeks at the same weight and I'm passed frustration and moving full speed ahead to pissed off. The only thing I can think of is that I'm not eating enough. The problem is, I'm not hungry. I don't want to force myself to eat, but I want to lose the rest of this weight. I'm about half way through and some sort of progress would be nice. I don't think I need to excercise any more. I walk for an hour every day and three times a week I do a half hour of strength training. My measurements haven't changed so I don't think I'm losing fat but gaining muscle. I lost, unfortunately my fat is not.

I wish I was

• on a beach
• enjoying the sun
• with a frosty beverage in my hand
• reading a good book
• chowing down on some awesome food
• listening to good music

If anyone is going to Jamaica any time soon, I fit in a suitcase.

I'm tired a lot

I wonder why that is. I've gone to the doctor and had all kinds of blood work and tests done and believe it or not, I'm exceptionally healthy. My liver enzymes are back to normal, cholesterol is good, blood pressure is perfect, and my blood sugar is good. My thyroid is normal. I take all my vitamins and excercise 5-6 days a week. So I'm still not sure why I'm so dang tired all the time. Last night I tossed and turned all night long, until about 4am and then Katie woke me up at 4:45am because she wanted goldfish. Somewhere around here on the page, the bottom I think is my weight loss ticker. I've lost 52 pounds. So, I should be feeling better right? My doctor thinks it's stress. I think if I get any more stressed one day I'll fall asleep and wake up ten years later.

Oops!

I missed a day. Birthday parties and a dozen hyper children will do that to ya. The party was great. If we are unfortunate enough to still be living with my parents when Katie's birthday comes around again we'll be going to Chuck E. Cheese. My parents are entirely too anal about how their house looks. A gang of 8 years old really doesn't care if the lawn has been mowed or if the shelves were dusted. They spent the whole day cleaning. Personally, I make sure the clutter has been removed and any obvious dirt is cleaned up and save the real cleaning for after the party. You still have to pick up once everyone leaves any way. Why clean twice? I did manage to take pictures this time! Cake and all. Hopefully I can actually manage to get them on this computer and posted at some point before his next birthday.

Partay

We're having Mikel's birthday party tomorrow. His birthday is actually next weekend, but he has three baseball games then, so the party comes first. We have our priorities in order. Party, presents, and cake come before athletics. Maybe I'll actually get to take some pictures. I don't have any pictures of Katie's last birthday party. I was busy running around like a maniac. I don't think I even sat down to talk to any body. It was crazy. For extra fun tomorrow we're having twice as many people over as we did for Katie's party. If you never hear from me again I was tragically killed in a bizarre cake decorating accident.

Things I love about my kids

1. Their soft, squishy cheeks
2. Their ability to sleep through the night
3. When they clean up their room
4. Their necks (except my son's right after baseball practice, STINKY!)
5. My daughter's tiny little ears/hands
6. My son's big hugs
7. Their laughter
8. Their ability to sleep through the night
9. They're darn good kids
10. They're so dang smart (I'm not sure I had anything to do with it either)
11. They way they both snore
12. Katie toots whenever she coughs or sneezes. (it's cute now, but that will change)
13. Mikel can make himself a cheese sandwich

Things I'd rather be doing right now

1. Anything else
2. Moving to Jamaica
3. Hiring a nanny
4. Hiring a tutor
5. Building a dungeon
6. Having my nails pulled out with rusty pliers
7. Setting my hair on fire
8. Drinking gas and pissing out a fire
9. Being run over by a truck hauling bricks
10. Being drug over hot coals
11. Being covered in honey and then covered in fire ants

Things I bought today

1. gas
2. Deadly Deceptions by Linda Lael Miller
3. lunch at Panda Express
4. cake mix for Mikel's birthday party
5. #8 candle for Mikel's birthday cake
6. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett (I got this from the library and then lagged on reading it and couldn't finish it by the time they wanted it back and somebody else requested it, so I had to give it back. So I gave in and bought it which was what I wanted to do in the first place. Darn Oprah and her book club!)

Things I wished I had done today

1. Moved to Jamaica
2. Made margaritas
3. Won the lottery
4. Got a pedicure
5. Lost 58 pounds
6. Slept in until noon
7. Hired a housekeeper

My brain is mush

I drove 6 hours yesterday, moved a storage unit and a half into a truck, drove 6 hours back today and unload a truck. I'm so tired my eyelashes are sleepy. We couldn't fit all of our stuff in the truck, so at some point we'll be making another trip. But at least the bulk of our house is now local and accessible. I'm going to shower now and pass out for at least two days.

Wow! I completely skipped February

I had this big plan to post all about my birthday and other stuff and then, I'm not exactly sure what happened. Any who, I signed up for NaBloPoMo again, cuz' they've done and gone monthly on us. That's right, it's not just for November any more! Maybe this will keep the fire lit under my tush. I have to get moving, literally. I'm moving my house out of storage in Hemet to storage in Fresno. Those of you that live in California may know that there is a six hour trip in between each of those cities. We're leaving today and comin' home tomorrow. I'm just all kinds of excited. Mikel started baseball pratice and we're trying to get LaKatie into a flamenco dance class if the instructor will call us back. I went back to school to get my degree in child development. I'm glad I started with one class. It's harder than I thought it would be. I just took my first test. Coffee's done, gotta go! Everyone enjoy their Saturday!

Hey! Look!

More than one post in a week. I'm such a trendsetter. While not having to work has taken off some of the pressure I'd still like to torture my husband and then rub salt in the wounds. He drives me nuts. My friend offered to let us move in with her. That was a fatal error. HUGE mistake. H took that as a cue to begin packing. Uh . . . . . no. I love my friend. That's why I won't move in with her. She has two kids of her own. That's still a lot of kids in a much smaller house. Probably still not a good idea. H was really pushing it, in spite of my objections. Red flag huh? I know his intentions are good, he thinks that getting us out of this house will fix everything. But it won't. We need our own house and extensive therapy, and lots of drugs. Yesterday I saw my counselor for the second time. We discussed this (not) possible move of ours and (yes! sweet! dude!) she agreed with me, that's it's not a good idea and we would just be moving our problems to a new place and potentially ruining a friendship in the process. H wasn't happy about it, I could see tell by the look on his face, but tough titty. My purveyor of mental health also told me that I'm not to be the go-between for my parents/brother, and my husband. If they have something to say to the other, well then they can just put on their grown up chonies and actually have a conversation with that person instead of putting me in the middle of it. Hallelujah! Amen! Could you please pass the collection plate? No change making. That's just tacky.

Bummer

I guess it's a good thing I didn't make a resolution to post more often this year. You can see it's not really working out. Suffice it to say that I bit off way more than I could chew. I started school. I'm going to get my teaching certificate so I can teach pre-school. Then I was supposed to start my new job, and I did, but that's where the wheels came off. I haven't worked in two years. I hurt my back at work and am pretty limited in what I can do now. So I got this seasonal job and thought I would be cool with it. Then I actually had to go, and I wasn't cool with it. I totally fell apart. Like break-down fell apart. I just couldn't handle it. I don't know why, but this big black hole opened up beneath me and I fell all the way to the bottom. Depression and anxiety are things I've dealt with pretty much my whole life and the months preceding this were some of the best I've ever had. Life is filled with ups and downs. The last up was a long one, and now I'm down. Hopefully not for long. But this marks a return to the medications I thought I could do without. A return to therapy I didn't really want. I thought I was doing so good. I thought I could just live life like I was a normal, happy person. Turns out I thought wrong. I wonder if I'll ever be able to go back to work.

I don't wanna go!!!!!!!!

I start training for my new job in a week and a half. It's been over two years since I've actually had a job. I'm a little nervous, but mostly I just don't want to give up all the time I have. It's nice being home all day and being able to get laundry and house cleaning done while the kids are in school. Plus run other errands without the constant begging for toys or other stuff. I could go shopping by myself and actually enjoy it. What I won't miss is not having any of my own money. As much as I like staying home and as much as H tells me that I don't need to ask for money, I still feel as though it isn't mine. I want some that it just mine. I'm sure that once I get back into the swing of things it will be nice to get out of the house and be surrounded by adults. Plus the training is only two weeks and then it could be a month to two months before I get called back for full-time work, and it's seasonal. I'll be going back to school in the summer to finish getting my AA. Being back on campus made me realize what a snot I was back in school. All these little punks running around fresh out of high school made me feel like a grumpy old lady. Here I thought I was hip and all that.

*Warning* Four letter word post!!!!!!

Ok, I moved back in with my parents in July. Our house was in foreclosure and we had no where else to go. So, in August I started on my current diet and have lost quite a bit of weight. Well my weight loss had kinda stalled so I started elminating refined sugar from my diet. I searched and searched for ice cream that was low fat and had no sugar added. I found some Dryer's ice cream bars that are really, really good. Well my mom saw them and said she was going to try one. She's trying to lose weight too, but isn't being nearly as serious about it as me, and we have TONS of low fat desserts in the freezer. Any way, to get to the point, the woman is eating all of my low sugar desserts and it is driving me insane!!!! I don't know why it pisses me off. But it does. Like no other. I just wonder why she can't eat the low fat stuff and leave my shit alone. If she was being totally serious about dieting and excercising then I'd probably be ok about it, but she's constantly scarfing down candy or going out to eat with my dad and then complaining that she's not losing weight. Hello!!!!! It's probably all the damn junk food and fast food you're eating. Seriously, every time I see her eat one I want to scream and rip it out of her hands. I really don't want to say anything because I'm living in her house and I'm not paying rent, but it really fucking pisses me off. And besides that she'll steal all the damn frozen meals. I'll get something I like for myself and I'll go out to get it and she's taken it to work for her lunch! It's making me crazy. It really is. I'm over here working my ass off to lose weight and giving up all kinds of stuff and she's half assing it and eating my shit! Normally I have no problems with my mom and we have a great relationship. But I am seriously biting my tongue over here and I needed to vent.

I don't make resolutions

I never keep them any way. I'm already eating healthier. I'm already excercising 5-6 days a week. I don't think making a resolution at the beginning of the year makes any difference in whether you keep it or not. I made a resolution to lose weight in August and have actually managed to keep that one, so maybe it's just the time of year for me.

The kids go back to school on Monday. Yipee!!!!! It's been a nice three weeks. I enojyed not having to get up early, but I think even the kids are ready to go back.

Happy New Year

I stayed home, by myself for new year's eve. Well, my mom hung out with me a little, but H and the kids were over at his uncle's house. They got home around 11pm. Neither of the kids made it to midnight. Heck, I barely made it to midnight. For once I didn't watch Dick Clark. I watched the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It was kind of disappointing for me. I thought it would be better. That's not going to stop me from buying it and watching it several times. I also rented the newest Harry Potter movie and I'll hopefully watch that tomorrow. I think that's the only book that I didn't read.

Today we went out to my aunt's house to celebrate. It's been really great to be seeing so much of my family since we've been back. I've really missed them. I made a total pig of myself, but I'm climbing back on the wagon tomorrow. The holidays were pretty tough for me. I didn't gain any weight back, but I didn't lose any either. Hopefully now that it's over I can get rid of all the junk food in the house and get back on track. I'm trying the glycemic index diet. I feel so much better when I'm not stuffing myself full of sugar.

Happy new year. Let's hope that this year is better than the last!

Damn! It's Friday

My mom woke me up at a little after 5am. My ex-sil was on the phone. Two of my nephews had started throwing up around 3am. Of course tonight is my brother's night to get the boys and everyone else is going out of town, so guess who got to watch them? Yeah. Friday morning, 5am bring on the pukey kids!!!!!!

I don't feel bad at all

I'm glad Christmas is over. Sure it's a lot of fun, with the kids and all. But lord have mercy, I don't like the crowds. I do have to say though, that I didn't come across one unspeakably rude person this holiday season. Everyone was nice and patient. I just don't like rushing around and all the crowds. I'm a sissy. DH got me a new bluetooth earpiece to go with my new phone, and a miniSD card so I can put music on my phone, and a pair of Ugg style boots. They're very comfy. I'm enjoying them right now! The kids got tons of cool stuff and believe it or not they still want more!! They keep asking why it can't be christmas again. I keep telling them that there just isn't enough coffee in Fresno. LOL.

How was everyone's christmas? Did you get anything good?

I don't know what our New Year's Eve plans are just yet. Something with the kids most likely. The boys will be here, so there goes the free babysitting :-(. Not that we have any where to go. We're so boring. Maybe we'll just hang out with my parents and get them drunk.

Wow! What a week

I survived the first week of the kid's vacation, and the kids did too. I had my procedure on Thursday and everything went well. Hopefully I won't have any more visits from aunt flo now. I'm looking forward to that! I finished up my shopping earlier this morning. I just needed some wrapping paper and bows. Now I can relax and enjoy my family a little before I have to start all the wrapping.

One of my great-uncles passed away on the 18th. Yesterday we attended his funeral service. I hadn't seen him since I was about 7 years old. It was a really nice service. I really enjoyed getting to see all the extended family. Most of whom I haven't seen in at least ten years! They got to see the kids for the first time and that was really great. Although the occasion was a sad one, there was still lots of laughter. He would have wanted it that way.

Every body stay safe and have a merry christmas and a happy, healthy new year!

Lord have mercy

If Lynne Spears has any more children they should be taken from her immediately. Her 16 year old daughter that has been living with her 19 year old boyfriend, is pregnant. At 16. She's going to have a baby. Seriously, who let this woman have kids???? Britney has lost custody of her kids and is a total wreck, and now her unmarried, teenaged daughter is going to have a baby! And she's writing a book about parenting. Now that's irony.

OMG!!!!!!

My size 19 jeans are starting to fall apart. I've patched the insides of the thighs multiple times. It's time to let them go. So just for the heck of it, I thought I'd try on my size 16 jeans that are busy collecting dust in my closet. I got them out, pulled them on and thought that I might be able to get them on. There would be lots of sucking it in and pulling, possibly pliers may be involved. I went to heave so I could button them and I'll be snookered! They buttoned right up, no tools, sucking, or heaving involved. They zipped right up too! When I started my size 19's were tight. Real tight. Now the 16's are a little snug, but darned if they don't fit!!! Now you'll have to excuse me. It's hard to type and do the happy dance at the same time.

You can tell it's almost Christmas

Lights every where. Gingerbread lattes. Christmas music in the stores. The warm feeling you get from giving. Nice gestures just because it's Christmas. Kids fighting constantly about what Santa is going to bring them. Yes, I love the holidays. Christmas kinda snuck up on me. Here it was barely Thanksgiving and I had plenty of time. Now it's a week away. When did that happen? We'll be wrapping up (pun intended) our shopping this weekend and hopefully the kids will survive to see it! I don't know if it's the anticipation, the excitement or what, but they have been fighting like crazy the last two days.

Starting in January I'm going back to school. I'm going to at least get my AA, if not continue and get my teaching credential. It feels good to have made that decision and to start moving foward with it. When I left school I always intended to go back. Much sooner than now, but I just never did. Only one other person in my family has graduated from college I think.

I think my daughter may have gotten into the wine. Right now she's wearing footy pajamas and she has pulled her arms and legs inside and is walking around on her knees. I swear I never dropped her when she was a baby.

That's what I get for thinkin'

While I'm looking forward to the kids have their vacation, I'm dreading it too. They're already fighting non-stop this afternoon. I can tell that we're going to be spending a lot of time at the park. I need to find some indoor activities for them to do and not drive me completely insane. Katie's teacher sent home a huge pile of homework for her to do over the break. Katie didn't seem bothered by it, so hopefully it won't be a fight to the finish. Mikel's teacher hasn't sent anything home yet, so I'm wondering if I should ask. I don't want him to forget some of the things he just learned. I also don't want them to be bored the whole time. I think we'll be making lots of library runs as well. My parents have a membership to the local zoo, so we can go there a few times. It's a pretty small zoo and you can only look at the elephants so many times. Mikel's getting to be too cool for the zoo. What I'm looking forward to the most is not having to get up at 5:30am for three whole weeks!!!! I can sleep in. Until 7am!!! No driving to school in a cold ass car! No muttering complaints about the other drivers so no one sees me complaining and knows who I am. It's really hard to want to give someone a dirty look, but you can't because their kid might be in your kids class.

Jelly Bellys

Suggested Jelly Belly jelly bean flavors:

Appletini

McDonald's french fries

Burger King french fries

Ranch dressing

Caramel cheesecake

Glazed Doughnut

Peppermint Mocha Frapp

Bacon Double Cheeseburger

Bacon!

Combo Pizza

Ok, that's all I can come up with for now. Making this officially the lamest post ever!

My Fabulous Weekend

We went camping and I didn't take one picture. Brought both cameras, and no pictures. It was snowing, and no pictures! Obviously I'm very distraught over the non-picture taking. It was nice to get away. The kids had fun. That is until Sunday morning at the lovely hour of 6am, Katie woke up and threw up. What an awesome way to finish the weekend. The poor thing, she couldn't keep anything down. Luckily Bass Lake is only a little over an hour away from home, so we just brought her home a little early. By 2pm that day, she was fine though. Amazing how that stuff can hit and be gone all in one day.

H and I started couples therapy today. It may work out, it may not. But at least we can say that we tried. I still haven't heard from Mikel's doctor, but she said that it could take a couple of weeks to get approval.

I managed to get almost all of my christmas shopping finished today. I just have a few more things to get and then I'll be done. Almost as good as last year. Every year I swear I'm going to start earlier, and I do, I just seem to finish at the same time. The last damn minute. Maybe this year I should swear to finish earlier.

Gone campin'

We're going camping this weekend. Despite the rainy weather. Of course it's only for one night and we're sleeping in the trailer, so I don't know if it really qualifies as camping. It's mainly for the kids that didn't get to go to the desert over Thanksgiving. Hopefully I can get H to put the pictures on this computer when we get back. Bass lake is really pretty and now that it's rained a couple of times maybe there will actually be some water in it!

Mikel is sick. The doctor thinks he was starting to get a kidney infection. So he's taking some antibiotics and we can nip this thing in the bud. He was complaining that his stomach hurt and he threw up again this morning. Tuesday night he threw up half a dozen times in WalMart. As far as I'm concerned they deserved it any way. He was with H at the time, so I'm sure H was thrilled. And as far as I'm concerned H deserved it too! Lol, I kid. Mikel's on a restricted diet for a couple of days to let his stomach rest. He's really enjoying it. Like he'd enjoy doing a week's worth of homework in one day.

Everybody have a good weekend!

On a happy note!

I have officially lost 36 pounds!!!!! I still have 72 pounds to go. I thought I had more than that to lose, so really that was a pleasant surprise. I hadn't really sat down and done the math. I looked up a weight chart to give me an idea of what I should be aiming for. The chart says 114-127, but I think I'm going to aim for 130. We'll see once I get there how I feel about things. At this point I'd be happy to wear a size 14 again. I can't imagine what I'll look like at 130 pounds. It seems weird. Oh well, off to the treadmill!

More info.

Ok, so H told me that he talked to this woman while I wasn't speaking to him. Looking back on it, there wasn't ever a time when I wasn't totally not talking to him. We live in a house with 9 other people. You can't really ignore someone in all that. I have actually exchanged emails with this woman and she's really very nice. I don't blame her at all. Frankly I'm surprised she said anything. I think it's nice that not only did she protect herself, but she thought of me as well and while I'm hurt and extremely mad, I'm not mad at her. I appreciate her honesty, I really do. But getting back to the point. She emailed me transcripts of their chats. The dates don't match up. When H says this occured and the dates on the transcripts don't match. According to what she sent me, they were talking as recently as last Wednesday. Yes, a week ago and it wasn't just idle chit chat as you can well imagine. He was chatting with her while I cooked our Thanksgiving dinner. In the blessing before we ate he thanked God for his wife and family. The lying hypocritical bastard. Ugh, I'm so angry this post is falling apart. Enough for now.

Kelly Clarkson - Walk Away

I just wanted to see if I could get this to work.

Kelly Clarkson - Walk Away

I just wanted to see if I could get this to work.

This just sucks

We talked some last night. Then today I remembered, once before I found info. from a dating site in our email. This makes me wonder, is this something he's been doing all along. He swears that talking is all he's done, but isn't that enough? At some point would it have progressed to more than that? Isn't that how is starts? I just don't understand it. I'm not so sure I want to. Right now I'm pissed off and hurt. Monday we are going together to talk with his therapist. I'm hoping that it will help.

Just curious

What would you do if you received a message from someone you didn't know about your spouse indicating that they were on a "singles looking for . . . . ." type site? I received just such a message. When I asked H what it was, he didn't deny that he had talked to someone. His excuse was that I wasn't speaking to him at the time.

I'm not sure, but I think my world just fell apart.