Sunday, July 25, 2010

I don't know why

Don't go looking, you may not like what you find. The internet is a bitch. I shouldn't let the things I see bother me. My head knows they're not big deal, but my heart says something different. Underneath everything is fear. The fear that I a really am not good enough. Fear that my weight is the problem, even after losing over 80 pounds. I can't get him out of my head, and I hate it. It's funny how someting so small has so much power over us if we let it.

Why can't I believe the words I hear? Why is it that fear and doubt won't just go away and let me be happy? The stress, exhaustion, fear, anger, and frustration have just turned me into a grumpy bitch. How do I get rid of all this? I'm so tired.

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