Friday, December 28, 2007

Damn! It's Friday

My mom woke me up at a little after 5am. My ex-sil was on the phone. Two of my nephews had started throwing up around 3am. Of course tonight is my brother's night to get the boys and everyone else is going out of town, so guess who got to watch them? Yeah. Friday morning, 5am bring on the pukey kids!!!!!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

I don't feel bad at all

I'm glad Christmas is over. Sure it's a lot of fun, with the kids and all. But lord have mercy, I don't like the crowds. I do have to say though, that I didn't come across one unspeakably rude person this holiday season. Everyone was nice and patient. I just don't like rushing around and all the crowds. I'm a sissy. DH got me a new bluetooth earpiece to go with my new phone, and a miniSD card so I can put music on my phone, and a pair of Ugg style boots. They're very comfy. I'm enjoying them right now! The kids got tons of cool stuff and believe it or not they still want more!! They keep asking why it can't be christmas again. I keep telling them that there just isn't enough coffee in Fresno. LOL.

How was everyone's christmas? Did you get anything good?

I don't know what our New Year's Eve plans are just yet. Something with the kids most likely. The boys will be here, so there goes the free babysitting :-(. Not that we have any where to go. We're so boring. Maybe we'll just hang out with my parents and get them drunk.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Wow! What a week

I survived the first week of the kid's vacation, and the kids did too. I had my procedure on Thursday and everything went well. Hopefully I won't have any more visits from aunt flo now. I'm looking forward to that! I finished up my shopping earlier this morning. I just needed some wrapping paper and bows. Now I can relax and enjoy my family a little before I have to start all the wrapping.

One of my great-uncles passed away on the 18th. Yesterday we attended his funeral service. I hadn't seen him since I was about 7 years old. It was a really nice service. I really enjoyed getting to see all the extended family. Most of whom I haven't seen in at least ten years! They got to see the kids for the first time and that was really great. Although the occasion was a sad one, there was still lots of laughter. He would have wanted it that way.

Every body stay safe and have a merry christmas and a happy, healthy new year!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Lord have mercy

If Lynne Spears has any more children they should be taken from her immediately. Her 16 year old daughter that has been living with her 19 year old boyfriend, is pregnant. At 16. She's going to have a baby. Seriously, who let this woman have kids???? Britney has lost custody of her kids and is a total wreck, and now her unmarried, teenaged daughter is going to have a baby! And she's writing a book about parenting. Now that's irony.

Monday, December 17, 2007


My size 19 jeans are starting to fall apart. I've patched the insides of the thighs multiple times. It's time to let them go. So just for the heck of it, I thought I'd try on my size 16 jeans that are busy collecting dust in my closet. I got them out, pulled them on and thought that I might be able to get them on. There would be lots of sucking it in and pulling, possibly pliers may be involved. I went to heave so I could button them and I'll be snookered! They buttoned right up, no tools, sucking, or heaving involved. They zipped right up too! When I started my size 19's were tight. Real tight. Now the 16's are a little snug, but darned if they don't fit!!! Now you'll have to excuse me. It's hard to type and do the happy dance at the same time.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

You can tell it's almost Christmas

Lights every where. Gingerbread lattes. Christmas music in the stores. The warm feeling you get from giving. Nice gestures just because it's Christmas. Kids fighting constantly about what Santa is going to bring them. Yes, I love the holidays. Christmas kinda snuck up on me. Here it was barely Thanksgiving and I had plenty of time. Now it's a week away. When did that happen? We'll be wrapping up (pun intended) our shopping this weekend and hopefully the kids will survive to see it! I don't know if it's the anticipation, the excitement or what, but they have been fighting like crazy the last two days.

Starting in January I'm going back to school. I'm going to at least get my AA, if not continue and get my teaching credential. It feels good to have made that decision and to start moving foward with it. When I left school I always intended to go back. Much sooner than now, but I just never did. Only one other person in my family has graduated from college I think.

I think my daughter may have gotten into the wine. Right now she's wearing footy pajamas and she has pulled her arms and legs inside and is walking around on her knees. I swear I never dropped her when she was a baby.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

That's what I get for thinkin'

While I'm looking forward to the kids have their vacation, I'm dreading it too. They're already fighting non-stop this afternoon. I can tell that we're going to be spending a lot of time at the park. I need to find some indoor activities for them to do and not drive me completely insane. Katie's teacher sent home a huge pile of homework for her to do over the break. Katie didn't seem bothered by it, so hopefully it won't be a fight to the finish. Mikel's teacher hasn't sent anything home yet, so I'm wondering if I should ask. I don't want him to forget some of the things he just learned. I also don't want them to be bored the whole time. I think we'll be making lots of library runs as well. My parents have a membership to the local zoo, so we can go there a few times. It's a pretty small zoo and you can only look at the elephants so many times. Mikel's getting to be too cool for the zoo. What I'm looking forward to the most is not having to get up at 5:30am for three whole weeks!!!! I can sleep in. Until 7am!!! No driving to school in a cold ass car! No muttering complaints about the other drivers so no one sees me complaining and knows who I am. It's really hard to want to give someone a dirty look, but you can't because their kid might be in your kids class.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Jelly Bellys

Suggested Jelly Belly jelly bean flavors:


McDonald's french fries

Burger King french fries

Ranch dressing

Caramel cheesecake

Glazed Doughnut

Peppermint Mocha Frapp

Bacon Double Cheeseburger


Combo Pizza

Ok, that's all I can come up with for now. Making this officially the lamest post ever!

Monday, December 10, 2007

My Fabulous Weekend

We went camping and I didn't take one picture. Brought both cameras, and no pictures. It was snowing, and no pictures! Obviously I'm very distraught over the non-picture taking. It was nice to get away. The kids had fun. That is until Sunday morning at the lovely hour of 6am, Katie woke up and threw up. What an awesome way to finish the weekend. The poor thing, she couldn't keep anything down. Luckily Bass Lake is only a little over an hour away from home, so we just brought her home a little early. By 2pm that day, she was fine though. Amazing how that stuff can hit and be gone all in one day.

H and I started couples therapy today. It may work out, it may not. But at least we can say that we tried. I still haven't heard from Mikel's doctor, but she said that it could take a couple of weeks to get approval.

I managed to get almost all of my christmas shopping finished today. I just have a few more things to get and then I'll be done. Almost as good as last year. Every year I swear I'm going to start earlier, and I do, I just seem to finish at the same time. The last damn minute. Maybe this year I should swear to finish earlier.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Gone campin'

We're going camping this weekend. Despite the rainy weather. Of course it's only for one night and we're sleeping in the trailer, so I don't know if it really qualifies as camping. It's mainly for the kids that didn't get to go to the desert over Thanksgiving. Hopefully I can get H to put the pictures on this computer when we get back. Bass lake is really pretty and now that it's rained a couple of times maybe there will actually be some water in it!

Mikel is sick. The doctor thinks he was starting to get a kidney infection. So he's taking some antibiotics and we can nip this thing in the bud. He was complaining that his stomach hurt and he threw up again this morning. Tuesday night he threw up half a dozen times in WalMart. As far as I'm concerned they deserved it any way. He was with H at the time, so I'm sure H was thrilled. And as far as I'm concerned H deserved it too! Lol, I kid. Mikel's on a restricted diet for a couple of days to let his stomach rest. He's really enjoying it. Like he'd enjoy doing a week's worth of homework in one day.

Everybody have a good weekend!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

On a happy note!

I have officially lost 36 pounds!!!!! I still have 72 pounds to go. I thought I had more than that to lose, so really that was a pleasant surprise. I hadn't really sat down and done the math. I looked up a weight chart to give me an idea of what I should be aiming for. The chart says 114-127, but I think I'm going to aim for 130. We'll see once I get there how I feel about things. At this point I'd be happy to wear a size 14 again. I can't imagine what I'll look like at 130 pounds. It seems weird. Oh well, off to the treadmill!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

More info.

Ok, so H told me that he talked to this woman while I wasn't speaking to him. Looking back on it, there wasn't ever a time when I wasn't totally not talking to him. We live in a house with 9 other people. You can't really ignore someone in all that. I have actually exchanged emails with this woman and she's really very nice. I don't blame her at all. Frankly I'm surprised she said anything. I think it's nice that not only did she protect herself, but she thought of me as well and while I'm hurt and extremely mad, I'm not mad at her. I appreciate her honesty, I really do. But getting back to the point. She emailed me transcripts of their chats. The dates don't match up. When H says this occured and the dates on the transcripts don't match. According to what she sent me, they were talking as recently as last Wednesday. Yes, a week ago and it wasn't just idle chit chat as you can well imagine. He was chatting with her while I cooked our Thanksgiving dinner. In the blessing before we ate he thanked God for his wife and family. The lying hypocritical bastard. Ugh, I'm so angry this post is falling apart. Enough for now.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Kelly Clarkson - Walk Away

I just wanted to see if I could get this to work.

Kelly Clarkson - Walk Away

I just wanted to see if I could get this to work.

This just sucks

We talked some last night. Then today I remembered, once before I found info. from a dating site in our email. This makes me wonder, is this something he's been doing all along. He swears that talking is all he's done, but isn't that enough? At some point would it have progressed to more than that? Isn't that how is starts? I just don't understand it. I'm not so sure I want to. Right now I'm pissed off and hurt. Monday we are going together to talk with his therapist. I'm hoping that it will help.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Just curious

What would you do if you received a message from someone you didn't know about your spouse indicating that they were on a "singles looking for . . . . ." type site? I received just such a message. When I asked H what it was, he didn't deny that he had talked to someone. His excuse was that I wasn't speaking to him at the time.

I'm not sure, but I think my world just fell apart.

Friday, November 30, 2007

I made it!!!

The last day of November. I'm surprised I actually made it. I figured I'd give up somewhere in the middle. Perhaps my excercising and whatnot helped me stick to it. I'm going to pat myself on the back and go eat lunch.

The boys are coming back tonight, so I need to prepare myself for the insanity. My mom has been sick all week so she's going to be camped out in her room trying to recover. That should make it fun. My dad disappears and my brother has to work. Oh joy.

On a more positive note, I finally got to see a therapist for an assesment for my son. She's really nice and doesn't think it's anything very serious and is going to help us work on it. She'll be seeing him once a week for "play therapy" and will also do some family counseling. I'm really looking forward to making some progress and hopefully getting a little closer to my son.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

I totally saw that coming

I just checked my entries and the entry that I set to post on the 16th posted on the 15th. Stupid blogger! Not me. Blogger it's self. Darn you blogger! Darn you all to heck!!!!

I'm just tired. That's what I am.

It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be to lose weight. But all the same, I'm tired of it. I need a break. I know I'm not even close to being done yet, and I'm not ready to give up. I'm just tired. Exhausted. Drained. I don't know if it was being sick. I still have a lovely cough. Or if I just need a break. Part of it might be that it's the holidays now and much of the celebratory stuff is food. Not just buy, buy, buy. But eat, eat, eat! I love food. I love to eat. Up until now I've acutally enjoyed finding things to eat that fit within my plan. I've tried and loved several things that I never would have eaten before. I think I might be suffering from burn out. Usually during December I bake. A LOT. I love baking. I need to try some low-sugar recipes. I just need to open myself up more. I really am enjoying all the excercise and how I feel, but I'm so damn tired. I just can't figure it out. I take my vitamins, I eat right, and I'm excercising. I think I need to go to the doctor. I get enough sleep. I went to bed at 9pm last night! I felt like a little old lady. I think I might be losing my hair too. The last two times I got my hair cut, the stylist said that I was "getting thin on top". Yikes! Something is amiss.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


Sometimes I just want to smack my husband. We're living with my parents right now. All four of us. In one room. So yes, everything is just rainbows and puppies and cute little, fluffy kitties. While waking up my daughter this morning my husband interuppted with,"are you through yet?" Excuse me? While you lay there and snore I get up early and get our children ready for school. Yes, it does indeed suck that we're all living in one room and that your ugly sleep is disturbed. But do you honestly think that I enjoy getting up while it's still dark so that I can get OUR kids up and ready for school? They are your kids too and you could get up off your lazy ass to help me instead of bitching about the noise I'm making while waking them up. Since when have children ever been able to do anything quietly? Almost never in case you didn't know.

So yeah, it kinda made me just a teensy bit mad. I didn't talk to him the rest of the morning. I'm still ticked off as a matter of fact. I think I'm going to give him a piece of my mind when he gets home too! To top it off, he didn't make the bed like I asked him to either. I need a glass of wine. Or twelve.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

It must be some sort of cruel joke

The kids get three weeks for winter break. THREE WEEKS!! Has the school district lost it's collective mind? What are they thinking? Three weeks??!! Why? That is just wrong. What have I done to them? The only other thing I can say is that they better not have another week off in February for "President's Week". The kids spend more time on "vacation/break" than in school. What do parents that work do when their kids are out of school for weeks at a time? Daycare must be a royal bitch. Thank goodness I don't start work until the end of January. This is madness!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Almost there!

I can't believe November is almost over already. It certainly went by a lot faster than I thought it would. Posting every day wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Once I sat down and started typing, it was pretty easy. I have a feeling I babbled a lot. But I do that any way. I don't know that I'll post every day once November is actually over. Maybe it will be easier to post more often now that I've gotten into the habit.

The kids went back to school with no problems. Sometimes after a break they have a hard time getting back into the swing of things. We'll see how tomorrow goes. They could be lulling me into a false sense of security.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

And it wasn't even a whole 24 hours!

The boys came and went. What a mess!! They were insanely tired and cranky. They had a wonderful time in the desert, but they were missing their mommy and wanted to go home. I'm bummed that I missed out on seeing lots of relatives that I haven't seen since before I got married.

H's new job is working out well so far. Thank goodness!! It's in town which is really nice. He won't have to commute.

The kids are ready to kill each other which means that they're ready to go back to school. They've missed their friends, and I miss them being gone all day.

I walked on my mom's treadmill yesterday. I'm so sore! I didn't realize what a difference walking on an incline makes. I think I'll torture myself on there from now on. I burned almost twice as many calories as I normally do. I felt great afterwards. Tired. Exhausted actually, but great.

I hope everyone has a great Sunday.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Are you sick of turkey yet?

More leftovers for dinner tonight! I need some more gravy. Since we missed out on having Thanksgiving dinner with my parents we may shoot for that tonight. Although I'm tempted to wait until Sunday night after the boys have gone home. It's hard to have a nice dinner with three wild children running about. Of course they might be worn out from their weekend in the desert! There's always hope right?

I slept in this morning. It was nice. As much as I like the kids being on vacation and not having to get up early, I'm looking forward to them going back to school on Monday. It will be nice to have my days to myself again. You'd think as kids get older that they'll entertain themselves more. Most of the time Katie does just fine, but she's been extraordinarily bored this week. She had taken to following me around and was literally a step behind me for about three days. I couldn't take it any more and told her she need to give me a few more steps. Mikel actually did pretty good this week. Ususally he gets bored really easy, but him and Katie got along really well this week. Lucky for me.

Now if you'll excuse me. Katie thinks a chocolate chip cookie is appropriate lunch time fare. I think I'm going to lock her in her room for a while.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Anybody want some pie?

I need to get rid of the pies. Pumpking and apple. Before I eat them. I did good yesterday. I ignored their calls, but today. Today is a different story. They're ignoring me and I just can't have that. I want to cover them in whipped cream and stuff them down my throat. Is pumpkin pie considered a vegetable? Can we claim apple pie as healthy because it contains fruit? I think we can. Whipped cream is dairy and dairy is good for you too!!

It was pretty quiet here yesterday. We watched the parade and cooked tons of food. We ate our own dinner then went and bugged the relatives. The kids just couldn't seem to settle down. Christmas is coming!!! They must get if from the stores. Thanksgiving wasn't even over yet and already, get the christmas decorations out. It's not even December. I refuse to decorate for christmas until December. It just doesn't seem right. It's not about going from one holiday to the next. What about all the life in between?????

So a pretty uneventful Thanksgiving. The turkey was the best I've made so far. Yummmyyyyyyy. Very quiet and relaxing. It was nice to spend time with just the four of us and enjoy each other. Until the kids started asking about all the stuff they wanted for Christmas and I sent them to play outside.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

I got myself up this morning just before 7am so I could walk and then have a little time to relax before I started cooking. The turkey is in the oven and smelling very delicious. I'm going to start prepping all the other stuff we're going to make. Steamed veggies, mashed potatoes, gravy, fruit salad (yummy, yummy), rolls, candied yams, and cranberry sauce. I'm even doing laundry! I've had lots of coffee, can you tell?

My parents called from the desert this morning. There are tons of people there and they're having a good time. Even with the boys there with them. Although my mom said the youngest took a nose dive down the trailer stairs already this morning.

Everybody have a safe and happy holiday.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Now what do I do?

My parents and the boys left this morning for the desert. H took Mikel to his parents house to hang out and do guy stuff. Katie stayed with me, but she dislikes interuptions when she's playing with her barbies. So I'm basically by myself. It's so awesome. It's one of those moments when you realize that you can watch whatever you want on tv, or read, or do something that you've been waiting for a moment of peace and quiet to do! Then you realize that you don't really want to do anything. You want to just sit and hold the couch down. You wind up sleeping the whole time because you're freakin' exhausted and now it's all quiet and you pass out the moment your fanny touches the couch. I live an excitin' life. Soon I'll have my own reality show where people do nothing but watch me workout, eat and sleep. In fact the longer I sit here the sleepier (is that a word?) I get. Not to mention hungry. It's way past lunch time. See, there I go. Off to eat and sleep again. I feel like I'm 4 months old!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

What is up with that?

Does anyone else's husband have some sort of weird obsession with dinner? H will call me at some point during the day just to ask what's for dinner. Nothing else, just what's for dinner. Even though he can see what is defrosting on the counter, he'll still ask what the plans are for dinner. What is with that? I don't get it. You'd think that he hadn't eaten all day. If I don't start dinner close to 5 o'clock he acts like I'm starving everyone. Since most people are just getting off of work at 5pm, they usually don't eat dinner until around 6pm right? When I was working that's when we ate. Sometime later. It's driving me insane. I swear, every time he asks about dinner I want to whack him with a skillet. I'm sure people have heard stranger reasons for divorce. He wouldn't put the toilet seat down. He didn't put his dirty clothes in the hamper. He was having sex with other women. He kept bugging the living crap out of me about what was for dinner and it was either divorce or death!!!!!

Sure, there are other things that he does that annoy the living hell out of me. But this pretty much seems to be the only thing that makes me want to rip my hair out and take primal scream therapy. I don't know why it sets me off like it does. I've tried posting menus for the week on the fridge. He still asked. I tried asking him what he wanted for dinner each morning. He would still call and ask! Even putting him in charge of making dinner does not stop the dinner questions! I'm seeking therapy.

For him.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Is it Wednesday yet?

My parents are taking the boys camping for Thanksgiving. So it will be a semi-short week with them. They're leaving Wednesday for the desert. Hopefully we will have a nice quiet Thanksgiving. We're getting our turkey on Monday and I'm finishing up my menu today. We'll have all the usual stuff, plus I'm going to try and find some recipes for some healthier alternatives for myself. I don't want to get too crazy and if I can make some healthier dishes, then I know I'll enjoy it even more because I'll know that I'm not doing something I shouldn't. Most likely we'll have to make a trip to see the in-laws. Hopefully it will be brief. The insanity knows no bounds over there. The last three years they've drawn names for Christmas gifts. Last year we all managed to get somebody in our family. As in just the four of us. They drew names, we weren't there, and managed to get a name of someone we already live with. Now, if that happened and I was in charge of the drawing then I would put the names back and re-draw. Wouldn't you? It stands to reason that if you live with someone, you'll probably be getting them a gift. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

What's wrong with my face?

I noticed it last week. I thought maybe it was just that I was sick and didn't feel good. Then I thought that it was the dieuretic I had been taking. So I made sure to drink more water. But still, I kept thinking that something didn't look right. Finally after standing in front of the mirror for 10 minutes, I finally figured it out. I feel like a total idiot.

I've lost over 30 pounds. Duh, at some point my face was going to start changing. I just didn't recognize myself. What a dork.

Friday, November 16, 2007

I don't think it's a phase

I've been having a lot of trouble with my son. I don't really know what it is. It's been going on for well over a year now. If I tried to list everything I probably couldn't. I'm not sure I really want to. I just know that I'm frustrated. He's very smart. Sometimes I think he doesn't let on just how much he really knows or understands. He's also very sensitive. He can go from happy and laughing to mad and screaming in seconds. The smallest things set him off. If he doesn't get his way he comes unglued. Not just temper tantrum, basic kid stuff. But yelling and throwing things. He's broken his toys and one time knocked a hole in the wall. H started buying him airsoft pellet guns when he was just shy of 5 years old. Now he's obsessed with guns. For the most part he just wants more pellet guns, but it's all he wants for christmas. A BIG pellet gun. It worries me. I didn't like it when H bought the first gun and said so, but I didn't make my voice heard the way it I should have. Now look what's happened. My son has told me that he's going to kill me on more than one occasion. I know he doesn't understand what it means and I know he's speaking out of anger and frustration, but what mother wants to hear that? He just seems to have so much anger and I have no idea how to help him. I've tried to help him tell me what is making him so angry. But it's like he's unreachable when he gets that way. Today I made him an appointment with a psychologist. I know it's more than just low blood sugar (the pediatrician's suggestion), and I know it's not just that he doesn't know how to express himself. He's my baby. I know something isn't right. I have to help him. He's unhappy and I just can't accept that. I have to do something. I have to save my son. You hear stories about these kids that shoot their friends at school and I have to wonder, is this the point where things go wrong? In ten years could that be my son? Is this the point where I lose him? I don't know if it's really that bad, or if I'm just beginning to panic.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

It's becoming a theme!

Still sick. Still tired. But I am starting to feel better. Thank goodness. As I've previously stated, I hate being sick. The drain on my energy just drives me insane. I'm used to walking in the morning's and coming home pumped up and ready to clean or something. For the past week I've stumbled through the door and collapsed on the couch. I did manage to clean the bathroom though. So it ain't all bad.

My daughter just requested that I call her Gretel. Last week she was Victoria. Then Cecelia. Apparently her name is boring. What will life be like when she's a teenager?

We built a gingerbread house tonight after dinner. I just love how you buy the kit and that there's no possible way you can get it to look like the picture with the stuff they give you in the kit. (How's that for a run on sentence?) I should have just cut open the icing bags and put the icing in my own bags and used my decorating tips, but I'm still feeling lazy. It was a lot more fun this year than in the past. Now that the kids are old enough to do most of it themselves. I was able to enjoy it more. Not once did my perfectionism rear it's ugly head. It used to. A lot. I was like some horrible icing and candy dictator. I could have been a Candyland villian. I could drown little gingerbread men in icing and horrible candies that no one really likes any way. Which is probably why they get used to build the gingerbread houses. There wasn't one damn piece of chocolate in that whole kit. I want my money back.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I can't breathe through my nose

My cold is getting worse. Does anybody know of a really good decongestant? Evidently we're currently passing a cold around amongst the housemates. Goody. I just love having a cold. It's really hard to walk in the mornings when you can't breathe. I made it this morning and I'm hoping that I won't poop out before I get rid of the cold. I would hate to see what happens to the weight loss if I don't excercise. At this point if I over eat or eat something I shouldn't I have to fight the urge to go out and walk a couple of miles to get rid of it. I know it doesn't work that way, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to do it. I don't want it to turn into some sort of weird eating/excercise disorder.

I hate to sound like a whiner, but I really don't feel good. I thought I was going to avoid the cold. When my nephew got sick, after the first few days I didn't start feeling sick I thought I was safe. The germs, they are laughing at me. Kleenex is now my new best friend. One very attractive side effect is that I have no desire to eat what so ever.

Fighting off a cold burns calories right?

Monday, November 12, 2007

Oh my achin' head!

Have you seen those commericals where the person's head is so congested that their head looks like a balloon? That's about how I feel today. It started off yesterday with my throat not feeling particularly perky and by the time I went to bed last night I couldn't breathe out of my right nostril. I don't know if it's allergies, or a cold, but it sucks. Other than my head I feel fine. Tired, but fine. I managed to walk and do my workout this morning, but when I was done I wandered around the house moaning for about 20 minutes.

I did some searching on appetite supressants last nights. See I'm losing weight and that's wonderful. But I'm hungry constantly. I don't really feel full. I'm making sure to drink lots of water and eat plenty of fiber. There are just days where all I want to do is eat! I usually walk about 5 miles three days a week and the other three days I walk about 3.5 miles and do the You On A Diet workout. I usually take Sundays off just to rest. I typically eat anywhere from 1,200 to 1,500 calories a day and no more than 19 fat grams per meal. I'm supposed to be eating around 1,800 calories a day according to the Alli plan, but unless I cram it in, I just don't eat that much. Maybe I'm not eating enough? At present I still weigh over 200 lbs. Not much over, but I'm still about 70 pounds over my eventual goal weight. When I started, I needed to lose about 120 pounds. I'm only 5'4" so you can imagine. I was starting to have some major health problems. Most of them have begun to go away just with the weight I've lost so far. Which is really good. My doctors are happy and so am I. Not having to wedge yourself into your jeans does a lot for a girl.

Any way, I had a point here. I'm just wondering if I either need to A) eat more or B) take an appetite supressant to get me past the days where all I want to do is shovel food in my mouth.

Also, I gave in today and had a peanut butter cup. I've been craving one for weeks. It didn't taste as good as I remembered. So it actually put that craving to rest. I'm not really craving the cheeseburger any more either. Weird how cravings come and go. I don't really miss much, since there are tons of healthy or healthier alternatives out there. Last weekend my family bought a pumpkin and a pecan pie at Costco and I had one tiny sliver of pumpkin and haven't wanted any more. Losing the weight is hard work, but skipping the bad foods is the easiest part.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

It's Sunday right?

Darn three day weekends. Throwin' off my schedule. I'm glad the kids don't have school, cause I like to sleep past 5:30 am. But it's raining and there isn't much to do inside. They are driving me insane. Billions of books, toys, puzzles, video games, and movies and they're bored. Bored! They wanted something to do. I suggested cleaning their room and they got irritated with me. Can you imagine?!

My daughter is pretty good at entertaining herself. My son on the other hand seems to need someone in constant attendance. If he doesn't have company then it's just not fun. I struggle with it because I'm such a loner. I enjoy being by myself. I could spend days sitting, reading, and listening to music. I have no problem at all entertaining myself and don't understand the need to have someone with me ALL THE TIME. It's not that I don't love doing things with him, because I do. But I enjoy my space as well. We seem to be running into a road block of finding friends for him to play with. I guess people here don't do playdates or whatever you want to call them.

He has a cousin that he plays with, but he spends two weekends a month with his other grandparents. The disappointment is tough to deal with when he finds out he can't go somewhere. That's another thing. He always wants to GO somewhere. Somewhere's usually cost money. Like toy stores or places with golden arches. That's his concept of going somewhere. He and Katie will play well together most of the time. But he likes to play army and she likes to play Barbie. So the harmony doesn't usally last for long. I love the rain, but I hate what it does to the backyard.

BTW, fellow jelly bean lovers. I found these today. SWEET!!!!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Guess where I'm at!

My brother called me this morning. From Vegas. My first question wasn't "why are you there?" But,"you didn't get married did you?" Not that I don't like his girlfriend, but it would have been pretty sudden. Not to mention given my parents a heartattack. Nope, they just up and decided to go to Vegas. Bored on a Friday night? Go to Vegas. Of course this only works if you work for an airline and can fly for free. At least it helps any way. Beats a night of beer and ping pong I suppose. Not only was this his first trip to Vegas, but it was also his first commercial flight. I would have paid just to witness that. He had to consume several alcoholic beverages just to be able to get on the plane. What a sissy.

I actually slept in this morning until just after 7am. During the week I get up at 5:30am. I like having time to have a cup or two of coffee and eat breakfast before I have to start my drill sargeant routine. I really should get myself a whistle. I wonder if it would help. Sticking my head in the door and yelling that it's time to get up doesn't seem to be doing the trick. Or perhaps a bullhorn? Something with a really loud and annoying siren. I went for my walk like a good girl. I enjoy getting out by myself and listening to my music. I love, love, love my iPod. I put off getting one for so long. Now that I finally caved and got a Shuffle, I want to upgrade. I thought there was no possible way that I would want more than 240 songs at a time. Oh how wrong I was. The more I use it, the more music I want on it. I'm addicted to iTunes. Send gift cards.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Yeah babeeeeeee!

The plateau is over. Thank goodness. I was gonna be one pissed off lady if I didn't at least lose a pound. All that excercise (walking five miles a day and yoga), and being soooo good and eating right. It's hard work. It gets easier the longer I do it, but I would still for a bacon cheeseburger. They need to have Jelly Belly's flavored like that. Bacon cheeseburgers, Cherry cheesecake, pound cake, and dark chocolater. I think I need to write them a letter.

The boys will be going home soon. My middle nephew is sick. He started pre-school this year and it seems like he's getting every virus and cold possible.

Time to go make dinner. It's hard to think straight with all this noise going on.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Pain, lots and lots of pain

If you've never had an endometrial biopsy, I highly suggest that you don't. It hurts. A lot. Not for long, but 30 seconds is long enough right. I'm glad I only have to do it once. Yikes.

I had no idea you could win prizes for successfully finishing NaBloPoMo. That's just nifty. I like prizes.

Have you ever had a ton of stuff to do and no desire to do anything what so ever? I need to put the laundry I did like four days ago away, wash and dry some more, post something, and put my kids to bed. What I really want to do is just sit on my butt and hold the couch down. I don't even want to know what it's going to be like once I start working. Crap! I need to start practicing my ten-key skills. Sounds like fun huh?

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. The boys will be going home in the evening and there will be some quiet. The week went by really fast. I'm stunned. Only one broken bed and no major injuries. It was a good week. The kiddos have Monday off from school for Veteran's day. So we'll be sleeping in, in honor of all veteran's. H included. He's a veteran, and he'll be sleeping in. What a multitasker!

Brace yourselves, three more weeks to go!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Smells like wet dog

Any tips on getting a 7 year old boy to shower properly? It's not like putting cheerios in the toilet to help their aim. We send him in to take a shower and he comes out smelling like wet dog, swearing that he used shampoo. Other than standing there like a shower nazi, how do I get him clean?

Another day in the mad house. It wasn't so bad today. H and I escaped to the library so I could have reading material whilst I hang around at the IRS orientation. I don't really know how much I can get away with saying, except I got a job at the IRS. I feel like I'm going to work for the dark side. I like the dark side. I'm comfortable there. Dinner was ready by the time we picked up the kids from visiting their cousin and after that it was showers and bedtime. Woohoo!! I love bedtime.

Finally all the water weight is gone. Thank goodness for Pamprin. Oh how I love thee. It really sucks to work hard and lose weight and then Aunt Flo comes to visit and suddenly your jeans don't fit. But now, due to much water drinking and some good drugs I feel like a human again. Now if I could just get that bitch to pack her bags and leave, life would be so much better.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I'm going nucking futs!

If you have more than two kids, I applaud your bravery. I just couldn't do it. When my two plus my three nephews it is utter chaos. I don't know how people do it. I really don't. It's moments like this that I'm so glad I had my tubes tied.

By the way, if you have really bad cramps, try calcium. I did some googling the other night and came across the suggestion of taking calcium for cramps. I tried it, and it worked like a charm! 1000 mgs of calcium and 95mg of potassium and the cramps disappeared. Better and faster than with advil. Supposedly it's supposed to help with bloating too, but I ended up taking a dieuretic for the bloating.

Good grief, I can't even think straight. It's like a three ring circus in here. Everybody talking at the same time. Man, talk about motivation to get a job and get our own house again. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm such a sissy.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Why do we need to know?

I'm listening to the news. They're reporting on the scandal at Oprah's school. In the report is a full detail of what the matron accused of the abuse was wearing. Why do we need to know what she was wearing? How does that have any bearing on whether or not she abused those girls? Heck, I don't even want to know if she plead guilty or not. I just want to know the end result. She was accused and found guilty or whatever. It's not like she was wearing a Dolce & Gabana gown. It's not the red carpet. It's court.

I went to the gyno for Aunt Flo today. I was told to be there at 10:30am. I actually saw the doctor at 1:30pm. Yeah. That's a whole lot of waiting. A LOT. OF. WAITING. Anywho, it looks like surgery is pretty much the only option. I could take medications, but it's only a 48% chance that they would actually do what I need them to do. Thank goodness I'm done having kids. Still kind of bums me out, but it's not like I really wanted to have more kids. Don't get me wrong, I do, but I really can't afford any more. Money wise, or physically.

I've received a job offer from the IRS. I'm interested in seeing what it feels like on the other side. I think I still actually owe them money. Oh well.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Now I'm stuck

I was going to complain about a bunch of stuff, but who wants to read that? Sometimes I'm so whiny it's just disgusting.

Does the time change totally throw off your sleep? I woke up way early this morning and now I just feel out of it. Like something isn't right. About a month ago I started waking up at 4:30am instead of 5:30am. My body was trying to tell me something apparently. Like I was late. It was the weirdest thing. Thank goodness changing the clock back an hour doesn't seem to affect the kids the way moving it forward does. I'm having enough troubles myself.

Does anyone know if Blogger will let you set future dates for posts? I have to go out of town next weekend and I know I won't be any where near a computer. I want to see if I can actually post every day this month. I'll shock the heck out of myself. We have to go finish emptying out what used to be our house (it now belongs to the mortgage company), and move all our stuff in storage to a storage where we live now. It all sounds very complicated and expensive. Very, very expensive. I hate moving. Especially more than once or three times in a year. Especially knowing that at some point we'll get our own place and move our stuff out of storage. Oy!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

It's gotta be water weight, right?

Ok, I started taking Seasonique about 2 and a half months ago. About three weeks ago I started spotting. Nothing major and according to all the info, totally normal. Well things have gotten steadily worse from there. I'm afraid to go anywhere for fear of having an accident. I don't want to be stranded at Target with bloody jeans. That such a fashion faux paus. Red really isn't my color. So over the past few days I've been feeling really bloated and my jeans don't fit as well as they did last week. I've already put in two calls to my gyno and Monday morning I may just park myself at her door, cause the red wave needs to end. This is no bueno my friends. I hate having my period for a week at a time. I detest having it for weeks on end. It just sucks. So here's the question, how do I get rid of the bloating? What helps? I've never had this problem before.

Don't think because I've never been bloated before I haven't had my fair share of "female troubles." There was that whole "get the Depo shot it will totally stop your period!" Yeah, it totally started my period and it never stopped. For over a year. You wanna talk nightmares. That was it. It got so bad that at one point it stopped for 24 hours and when it started again, I damn near had a total meltdown. Finally I went to a different doctor and told him to make it stop. NOW. And lord love him, he did. If I wasn't already married I would have married my doctor. Despite the fact that he's over 60 and quite fugly. I went to a different gyno once and his whole solution to the problem was for me to have a hysterectomy. That was just a little too much for me. I'm only 30 and while I'm pretty sure that I'm done having kids. I had my tubes tied when my daughter was born. But damn. Take everything out? Yikes. At least if I completely lose my mind and decide I want to have another baby, there's the possibility.

Wow. I just wrote an entire post about my period. Sorry 'bout that. I figured I'd have to stretch for a paragraph.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Oh no she didn't!!!

Oh yes. She did. I was shopping for a necklace in Target today and I went to the jewelry counter to try one on. So as I'm standing there admiring myself and the necklace the lady behind the counter asks me, "so when are you due?" Uhhhhh, yeah. I'm not pregnant. I get it, I'm fat, but damn woman. Aren't us girls supposed to stick together and leave dumb questions like that to the guys? I wasn't really offended, stuff happens. For the love of pete people, make sure a woman is pregnant before you ask her that question. I've been pretty cranky lately, she's lucky I didn't punch her in the throat.

I also bought myself a pedometer while at Target. I want to see just how far I'm walking in the morning. I think it's about 5 miles, but I want to know exactly. I walk for an hour and a half, so I've got to at least be hitting 10,000 steps a day. I think I'm going to start doing something different on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Some sort of strength training to alternate with walking. Maybe that's why I've hit the plateau. I'm not building or strengthening my muscles. We'll see how that works.

My nephews will be with us this week. So I'm bracing myself for the madness. Those boys are all boy. I've never seen the likes. I'm so glad my kids are laid back. I barely have enough energy to keep up with them as it is.

Thursday, November 01, 2007


I know it's silly, but I'm just so irritated and upset. See I've been losing weight recently. 29 pounds to be exact and it's been hard, but not so hard that I've given up as I usually do. The week before last I lost 3 pounds. This week, I haven't lost a thing. Granted I haven't been as good as I should have, but I don't feel as though I made really bad choices. Still, I'm upset. It probably has a lot to do with what's been going on and stress and all, but it just would have helped keep me up if I had lost a pound even. What a bummer. I even stayed out of the Halloween candy!! Now I want to stuff a muffin in my face. I guess the only thing I can do is shake my fist and resolve to do better this coming week and try to add some additional excercise to help me over this plateau I seem to have hit.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Friday! Friday! Friday!

  • My dad is taking my mom and I out for breakfast. I suspect in appreciation of not making him an accessory to murder while we were camping.

  • The kids have completed their first week of school. They love their teachers and are adjusting really well to being the new kids. I'm so proud of them. They just jumped right in and didn't even want me to hang around.

  • I love Californication. That show is hilarious. It is pretty risque' so if you're easily offended, it's probably not for you. But my sense of humor is pretty sick and twisted, so I like it.

  • My nephews go back to their moms this afternoon for the next week. They were here for TEN days. Ten very long days.

  • Tuesday was my 9 year anniversary of the day I completely lost my mind and got married. H and I exchanged high fives and told each other "good game!"

  • Said about the chicken we were having for dinner by my nephew, "it tastes like beaver!" Not surprisingly my brother thought that was hysterical.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Advice please!

What would you do if someone was letting their children swim in the pool naked and you knew the kids were urinating in it constantly? The pool is a kiddie pool, not a built in and definately not chlorinated. It really grosses me out and I hate having to tell my kids that they can't go swimming because it would be like swimming in a toilet. Not that they aren't peeing in the pool when they have swimsuits on, but I'm just saying. It's gross. I'm pretty sure my kids aren't peeing in the pool. At least I hope not, they're 7 and 5. They should know better. Also, these other kids have been told it's ok to pee outside and now the baby is using my mother's flower pots as toilets. Lord have mercy! It is just pure craziness around here.

We went camping last weekend. I will say this, 5 children in a trailer can be a really rough and loud weekend. Extremely close quarters and no idea that jumping off the top bunk is really, really bad can make things a little tense. When we were out and about though, the kids had a blast. We rode the Yosemite Sugar Pine Railroad on Friday and it was really cool. I think my dad got a bigger kick out of it than the kids. Hopefully I can get the pictures downloaded off the camera soon and see if I got any really good ones. Saturday we spent the day at Bass Lake and the kids were swimming all day long. It was really nice to sit there by the water and watch the kids play and visit with my parents. That was probably the best part of the trip. I love the water. Either the ocean or a lake. I find it very relaxing. We're still catching up on our rest. Even though we went to bed every night around 9pm and woke up around 7am, we're still completely exhausted.

Friday, August 03, 2007


One of my nephews made his own fountain in the pool the other day. Well, he was the fountain. Ewwwww!

The boys go back to their mom's this evening and my parents are going out, so the house will be relatively quiet tonight. H mentioned possibily going out to dinner. That would be nice. Even though I only have to cook maybe two or three times a week. That's one of the nice things about so many people being in the house. There's lots of people to share the cooking duties with, and the cleaning. I haven't been responsible for just keeping my room clean since I was a teenager. It's awesome!

I'm waiting to hear back about a job I applied for with the Superior Court here in town. They get all the holidays off don't they?

Thursday, August 02, 2007

I have a headache, a HUGE headache

You know it's hard living with a whole other family. It's really hard when the other kids aren't being raised the same way that you are raising yours and you're trying to keep your kids from running wild. Unfortunately because of where we lived before I haven't really been around my nephews much so they definately don't want to listen to me. AT ALL. I understand it's been pretty rough for them. My brother and his wife are divorced and I'm sure everyone knows the impact divorce has on young children. Plus the boys spend one week with their mother and then one week here with my brother. All the back and forth isn't helping. It's caused a lot of confusion and makes things really hard for the boys and my parents. My parents are doing most of the work. My brother has his own set of problems, but that's a whole other post. I came home from taking Mikel and La Katie to the zoo and my brother was asleep on the floor and the older two boys were outside in the pool swimming. Naked. The pool is just a little kiddie pool, but still accidents can happen. The baby was asleep. The middle boy came in shortly after I came home and told me he was hungry. Now policy is, according to my mother, that I tell the boys to ask their dad to get them something to eat. Because really if we do it every time they ask, my brother would just live his life footloose and fancy free and wouldn't ever do anything for them. So I told him to ask his dad, who really shouldn't have been asleep any way and of course my brother told him no and didn't even attempt to get his son anything to eat. Then the baby woke up and he was hungry too! Seriously, I can barely handle my own kids. No way is having three more going to help. Plus I'm hoping that at some point my brother will get his own place and raise his kids on his own. I don't intend to live here forever either. I love my parents, I just don't want to live with them. I'd like to have my own house again. I'd LOVE to have some privacy. But I digress, it's driving me nuts. I feel bad for my nephews. To have all this crap thrust upon them. The constant change and upheaval. I have to wonder what sort of damage if any that it's doing. How must it feel to have two parents that aren't taking care of you the way they should?

Monday, July 30, 2007

Viva Viagara

Have you seen the commerical? The one where a group of men are sitting around singing about viagara? I just don't see a group of men sitting around discussing erectile disfunction and then deciding to sing viagara carols. That would be like asking one of your friends if she ever gets that not so fresh feeling.

Last week seemed to go by really slowly. The boys have been back since Friday and it's been non-stop mayhem ever since. I don't know what they eat when they're with their mother, but they haven't stopped eating since they got here. I've never seen kids eat so much. I live in fear of when they're teenagers.

We're going camping next week up by Yosemite. Mikel and La Katie have never been camping. This should be interesting. My parents just bought a new trailer and they generously bought us a tent. I don't know why, but I think they're trying to tell me something. Maybe I fart in my sleep like H keeps telling me. I know I don't snore.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I moved!

Literally. We just up and decided to move back to Fresno. Yes, I have lost my mind. Lost it a long time ago as a matter of fact. We threw all our clothes in bags and hit the road. Hopefully sometime within the next month we'll go back and actually pack up the house and move all our belongings into storage until we find a house. Neither H nor I has managed to find a job yet so we haven't even begun to look for somewhere to live. Cause having a job is important when you have rent to pay. So now we're living with my parents. Doesn't that sound like the most groovy thing you've ever heard of? Actually it isn't that bad, on the weeks that my brother doesn't have his kids. Oh yeah, this is the best part, my brother lives here too and every other week he has custody of his three boys. Five adults and five children in a three bedroom, two bath house. There are two 7 year olds, a 5 year old, a 4 year old, and a 2 and a half year old. When the boys are here is it LOUD. L. O. U. D. My kids are by nature mostly quiet and pretty laid back. My brother's kids are not. I don't think they stop moving even when they're asleep. I'm hoping that if a couple of weeks when school starts and four of the little nose pickers go off to school that things will be a little quieter. Seriously. I don't really like wine all that much, but I'm going to add being a wino to my list of hobbies. Only every other week though. Only when I'm alone or with someone and only on days that end in y. No joke. Once they're all in bed I am in serious need of an adult beverage. Besides I heard on the news once that a glass of wine a day is actually good for you.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

At some point things will get better. Right?

For those of you that check in occasionally I'm sorry for my lack of updating skill. You'd think that I'd be using this as some form of therapy. It's free and I don't have to sit in an office for an hour listening to someone ask me how that makes me feel. I had a therapist once and that was all he ever said. "How does that make you feel?" I think I went there twice. I was only 16 at the time, but it was pretty evident that he wasn't going to be much help. I've pretty much given up on therapy. The reason being is that I can change my reactions to things all I want. I can change just about everything about myself, but that doesn't change the people around me and my environment. It doesn't change the fact that my husband quit his job and now we have no income and we're in foreclosure on our house. It doesn't change the fact that he doesn't help me around the house. It doesn't change the fact that I'm raising our children by myself. All in all I'd say I'm damn justified in being depressed. The lovely folks at state disability can't seem to understand why I'm not getting better. Live in my hell for a while, you'll figure it out. So we're about to lose our home, we have no where to go and my doctor doesn't feel that I'm able to work right now, but the state disability feels that I am, so I don't get any money from any where. I can't get unemployment because my doctor doesn't think I'm able to work. NICE. So incredibly helpful don't you think? Take someone who's majorly depressed and cut off her only source of income. Right on! Way to go folks! That will make things much better. Now that my husband isn't working we don't have insurance, so I can't even afford my meds. Isn't that lovely? I'd love to just go to bed and stay there, but I have two kids to take care of. I don't have the option of going off the deep end. I don't have the option of checking myself in to an inpatient program. I can't tell my parents because they have problems of their own. I'm the only one that can help myself and I'm just too damn exhausted to do it.

Monday, June 04, 2007

My blog is like my period

I only deal with it once a month.

I saw on the tailgate of an el camino the phrase, "God made Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Steve." If God made Adam, surely God could have made a guy named Steve. Yes, I do understand what the ignoramous meant by that wonderfully artful phrase against homosexuality. But jeez, aren't there more important things to worry about? Children that aren't getting enough to eat, people that don't have medical insurance, whether or not the Yankess will make it to the World Series again? Just my two cents worth, but God created man and all his imperfections, including homosexuality. If we were all perfect then God probably wouldn't seem so special.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to sit back and get ready for the onslaught. If there even is one.

Friday, May 04, 2007

They don't put this in parenting books

My daughter shaved off her eyebrows yesterday while I was in the shower. I stepped out of the shower and heard, "mom, my eyebrows are coming off." Trust me, you don't ever want to hear those words exit the mouth of your five-year old. I opened the bathroom door and there she was. Eyebrowless. She used her father's razor. Thank goodness she didn't cut herself and school pictures have already been taken for the year. Now we just have to figure out a way to cover up her eyebrows until they grow out. Don't you wish they put this particular problem in What to Expect The First Five Years?

Children are wonderful aren't they? I almost wish she had cut her hair. That would be an easier fix than the eyebrows. Do they make falsh eyebrows?

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I haven't cleaned my house in a month

I don't know how I've let it go this long. Or why really. I cleaned my bedroom today and Katie was shocked to see that the room actually does have a floor. I just haven't felt up to it. For a long time I was doing really good and following FlyLady and my house looked great. For some reason I just totally started slacking off and yesterday I finally saw how dirty it is. I'm surprised Dh hasn't said anything. I'm looking forward to getting everything back in shape and getting back into my routines. I feel so much better when everything is neat and tidy.

Dh came home Monday from a trip to New Jersey and Atlanta. He says that Atlanta is beautiful and wants us to consider moving there. I would seriously love to get out of California, only because of the gas and house prices. It's just crazy. My parents would probably have heart attacks if I moved their grandkids that far away from them.

I just finished reading You On A Diet. It's an awesome book. It has a ton of information. If you're trying to lose weight you should read this book. It has really helped me. Even if you don't use their program it still has a lot of helpful information. Stay away from the high fructose corn syrup. It's bad, bad, bad. I practically live on fruits and veggies now and I feel so much better. I had no idea how crappy all the fast food I was eating was making me feel. I don't even crave it any more. The only drawback is that I'm spending all the money I was spending on fast food on shoes.

Monday, April 23, 2007

I forgot how to type?

It's been practically forever since I've posted and in all honesty I haven't been all that busy. I just didn't really feel like it. Sometimes I go for months and then post like a woman possessed. There was of course the week my in-laws were visiting. That was an excercise in restraint. My mil is a nice lady, but she does some really weird things. Some people bring you a gift when they stay at your home. Wine or flowers, my mil brought toilet paper. Two rolls aproximately. Toilet paper, the gift that keeps on giving. Until the roll runs out at least. She pruned all the trees in the backyard, cleaned and rearranged the bathroom and folded the pile of clothes that I needed to iron. I appreciated the pruning and cleaning, but folding clothes that need to be ironed? (shrugs) I just couldn't tell ya.

I've been really tired lately. I've started excersizing and eating better. I've lost 6 lbs. I'm taking my vitamins and omega 3's. I just don't understand while I feel like sleeping all the time. I can't keep my eyes open. I can be awake for a couple of hours, but then it's nap time. Maybe I'm reverting to infancy. Next I'll be wanting a bottle and my blankie.

Dh has been out of town for the past week. Seriously, there's not much difference from when he's here. It's not like he helps with the cooking and cleaning and getting the kids ready for bed. I know he feels bad about it, but he never does anything to change it. It's pretty frustrating. I need a break, but I can never get him to take over long enough. The most I can get is a couple of hours on the weekend to take a nap or something. Even then the kids come and wake me up when they want something because they asked dh and he still hasn't gotten up to get it for them. Such is the life of the SAHM. Oh well, things could be worse I suppose.

Thank goodness the sun is back out. I love the rain, but the kids being forced to stay inside drives us all crazy. Hopefully we can get back to the regular routine of baseball and softball. It's nice to get out and the kids get really worn out which is always a good thing.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I used to hate school

Now I absolutely love school. I still don't love to go there, but I love to send my kids there. It's an education and somebody else has to put up with them! The sad definition of reality: your kids behave better for other adults than they do for you. My kid's teachers think they're absolute angels. Oh little do they know that the minute my kids walk through the door at home they sprout horns and breath fire. I start getting a headache the minute I leave to go pick them up. It's like they've held it in all day and they must release the fury on poor me. I think kids should spend the last 45 minutes of school napping. Maybe that would help. They're always so hyper and cranky when they get home. Even after a snack. Yesterday they were bouncing off the walls so badly that I thought I was going to have to string them up from the ceiling fan.

La Katie gave me the look again yesterday. But this time as she turned away she turned her head so she could maintain eye contact with me. Someone is getting a little too big for her britches. The princess needs to be taken down a peg or two. Seriously, if she's like this now, what is she going to be like as a teenager? Could she be getting all the attitude out of the way? Or is this just a preview of things to come? Suddenly boarding school in Siberia seems tempting.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Birth Stories

This if for the blog carnival over at Maya's Mom.


On March 15th my OB admitted me to the hospital to induce labor. She started by administering cervadil to help my cervix soften. I'd been having tons of contractions, but not dialating AT ALL. After overnight with the cervadil in place and still no dialating the doctor started the pitocin IV. Twelve hours later and I had dialated to a whopping one centimeter. Yipee! My OB was going to leave me overnight and see where we were in the morning. My husband asked if there wasn't anything else we could do to help things along. She looked down at me and said,"let's just go ahead and get you delivered". Great, wonderful, fabulous. Wait a minute. Just how are we going to do that? Ahhhhh, a c-section. Yikes. I freaked out. It wasn't that I was opposed to a c-section, but deathly afraid of it. The anticipation of seeing my baby boy was greater than my fear of the surgery and an hour and a half later there he was. With much pushing on my stomach from my six months pregnant doctor that was on her knees on the operating table. Even with the epidural it was pretty uncomfortable. When the assisting doctor pulled Mikel out everyone in the room said "whoa!" Mikel was 8 lbs. 13oz. He was a big boy. I might also mention that the doctor attempted the inducement at 38 weeks because she was afraid I was going to have a ten pound baby. Not a good thing for a petite lady. Mikel will be 7 years on this March 16th and I still think of him as that tiny little baby they brought to me in the hospital.


Katie was a scheduled c-section. With my mom coming from out of town to watch Mikel it just seemed easier to schedule the birth than to take a chance and not have anyone available to watch Mikel. Unlike Mikel's birth, Katie's was a walk in the park. 45 minutes and welcome to the world baby girl! It's a good thing that we had scheduled the c-section. Katie has done things her own way from the start. She was breach and came out feet first. Let me tell you, a kickin' baby and a cervix do not make for a very comfortable mommy. When they brought me back into the room my mom was disgusted. She said there was no way that I had just had a baby. I looked like I had just gone for a walk and came back with a baby. Thank goodness there was none of the uncontrollable shaking and vomiting like after I had Mikel. It was very nice and wonderful experience. We could hear Katie crying all the way in the nursery. Since I had gestational diabetes they had to check her blood sugar. They were trying to get her to take a bottle and she was having none of it. Katie was a breastfeeding baby from the word go. Oh she would drink a bottle. Then throw it right back up. She's not stubborn. She's assertive and very patient. While I really wanted a girl with a strong will, I'm not sure that this was what I meant. Lord have mercy on the man she marries. He better have a good job and the patience of a saint.

Friday, February 23, 2007

I'm going nucking futs

Mikel was sick all last week. The kids have been home on vacation all this week. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids but they need to go back to school. Mikel had some sort of cold/flu type thing and ran a fever for 5 days. He absolutely refuses to take any kind of medicine so it was really miserable for everybody. I seem to have caught a cold but it's still pretty minor so hopefully it won't stay around for very long. Combine all this with the rainy weather and we all have a major case of cabin fever.

Does any one have a daughter about 5 years old that has a major diva complex? I'm seriously ready to lock mine in her room. She's been rude and demanding and when I tell her no she actually gives me the look. You know the way your mom used to look at you when you were getting on her nerves? I don't know what to do with her.

I really need a nap. I'm so glad it's the weekend, now I can sleep all day tomorrow while Dh deals with the kids. I need some alone time. I think I'm just a day or two away from pulling a Britney. Only instead of shaving my head I'll probably just pull my hair out.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

How to traumatize your child

(Here's another beginnings of a post. I have no idea what those words at the bottom are for. I think it had something to do with words that are searched for the most on Google.)

First, you must be repairing a favorite stuffed animal or doll. Second, you must be interrupted in some fashion. Third, when you are interrupted you must stick the needle you are using to repair the stuffed object into the animal abruptly. Fourth, leave the stuffed object on the table where your child can find it. Wait until screaming starts and you can consider it a job well done.

first, Constantinople, hobgoblin, postmodern and etiquette.

It's Monday night and the kids are in fine form. My oldest nephew is sitting in the corner for the second time in about 30 minutes. We're getting our Thanksgiving dinner menu set and will be shopping tomorrow for our goodies. It's so easy to get carried away and want to make tons of food, but it will just be the four of us so we need to keep it small. Small doesn't mean it can't be good. H has a good line on a job and could possibly be working before Thanksgiving. That would be so awesome. We really need him to get back to work. Not that I don't love being around my parents after living so far away for so long, but I'm living with my parents. After being on my own, it sucks. Plus H, the kids, and I are all living in the same room. Four people in the same room. Sounds thrilling don't it? I need my own space. I'm considering getting my own apartment and maybe sometimes I let H visit me there!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Just FYI

Getting a cortisone shot in your foot is not something you want to put on your "things to do before I die list". It hurts. HURTS. BAD. It's supposed to make my foot feel better. In a couple of days. Until then it hurts like h e double hockey sticks and I'm running a fever. Isn't that nice? I'm also probably going to have a lovely bruise on my foot. I'm also supposed to stay off my feet as much as possible. Did I mention I have two kids? What mother is able to stay off her feet? Perhaps I should introduce my podiatrist to my psychiatrist. I'm sure they would get along.

Friday, February 09, 2007

I'll be honest

While I'm not a big fan of Anna Nicole, I am sad that she died. She was still young and she has a beautiful baby girl. Regardless of how the media portrayed her, she was still a human and will be missed. It's incredibly sad that she first lost her son and then had this huge custody battle or paternity suit over her daughter. Not too mention all of it being played out on national tv and in magazines. I would not want that kind of life. It must be very hard. The thing that I feel the worst about is now there is a baby girl that will never know her mom. She'll grow up seeing all these images of her mother, but not really know the woman that she was. It's a tragedy, from all angles. A man without his companion, a child without a mother, a mom without a daughter. Regardless of my opinion of the woman herself, I feel sad for those who will suffer through her loss.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Addiction is an ugly thing

There are many forms of addiction. Addiction to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes,and diet caffiene free pepsi. But the worst one I've ever seen, just breaks my heart. I know it will be a lifelong addiction. One that no matter what, there is no twelve step program. The person suffering from this horrible addiction is my daughter. Yes, she is addicted to chocolate pudding. I caught her this morning constructing a ladder from chairs and boxes in order to obtain the object of her desire. The pudding cups. I have to hide them because she would eat them all the day I brought them home. It's an ugly, ugly thing folks. The chocolate smeared around her mouth and that crazed, sugar induced look in her. I'm frightened.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Proof that men don't listen

Have you seen that Volvo commercial where the little girl is talking non-stop? Dh and I saw it last night and he remarked,"that would drive me crazy". I paused and looked at him,"you obviously haven't spent much time in the car with our daughter have you?"

This girl gives new meaning to the word chatterbox. I've asked her several times if her mouth ever gets tired and she always says no. Maybe that's why she's so skinny. She burns off all the calories by constantly talking. I wonder if I should try that.

Monday, February 05, 2007

I feel the love

Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes. That was awesome. Dinner was wonderful and while they didn't have the kind of cheesecake I wanted, they did have pumpkin cheesecake which is something I have never tried before. It was quite tasty and I wouldn't mind having it again.

Dh and Mikel went to Fresno over the weekend and are traveling home as I type. They stopped at the Tulare outlets to do some shopping. I hope they got something nice for me! Katie and I had a lovely girls only weekend. Saturday we saw Arthur and the Invisibles. A great, very cute movie. Katie loved it. Then we went to Cold Stone and had some ice cream. After that we went rented ourselves a movie each and went home and washed our new car. Later we went to Carl's Jr. for dinner. I love not having to cook. Sunday we went grocery shopping and just relaxed around the house not having to watch football!

Too bad that can't happen all the time.

Friday, February 02, 2007

It's my birthday, I'll whine if I want to

Today I am (insert melodramtic music here) . . . . . 30. I don't really feel like I'm old. I'm not really. 30 is just 30. Feels kind of weird, but just because I remember being younger and not really being able to imagine what being 30 would be like. Despite all the financial troubles and other problems, it's not that bad really. I have quite a bit to be happy about. I have a wonderful husband (who's taking me out to dinner tonight), two great kids, and a home. Not too shabby.

One of my aunts sent me an e-card. She said that she thinks my mom is taking it harder than I am. My mom feels old. But seriously, if she dyed her hair people would think we're sisters. She certainly doesn't look like she's 55. I hope I look that good when I'm 55.

I have more free ice cream than I know what to do with. A coupon for a free ice cream cone at Baskin Robbins, then another one from my insurance agent. Then a coupon for a free creation at Cold Stone! I'm more excited about the Cold Stone. That stuff is gooooooooooooooood.

We're going to Marie Calendar's for dinner. I didn't really choose there because of the food. I chose it because of the cheesecake. Everything in life should be based around dessert. I loves me some cheesecake. Especially the monster slice they give you at Marie Calendar's. I can hardly wait. The only thing that would be better would be to get a whole cheesecake. That's not a bad idea actually. Well it is, because I would eat the whole thing and that would be bad. A massive case of heartburn and indigestion, not to mention ten pounds of cheesecake that goes straight to my ass.

Yes, I do believe I'd like some cheese with my whine.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Finding the silver lining

Ultimately we decided not to get our cars back. In order to get them back the bank wanted to put a lien against our house and we just weren't willing to do that. That seemed like the worst decision to make. We found Dh a little economy commuter car yesterday, so he's back to work today. We're going to buy a Jeep Grand Cherokee from Dh's cousin that's in really good shape and they only want $1,500 for it. So now we have vehicles that are paid for, or at least will be paid for soon. That's going to dramatically improve our financial situation. Once the vehicles are auctioned then we'll make payment arrangements with the bank for the rest of the balance.

The kids are back to school. Thank goodness I have some time to myself again. I really like having my time to do my housework and some time to relax and just do what I want. Tomorrow I'm going to go see Smokin' Aces. I wanted to go see Catch and Release, but it's not playing at a good time so I can go while the kids are at school. I'm really enjoying this whole a movie a week thing. I love going to the movies and I can see whatever I want to see. I don't have to listen to dh complain about what we're watching. He's very picky about movies. Actually he's very picky about everything.

A few months ago I cut my hair really short. In the mornings now I always wake up with a major case of bed head. Last week while I was doing my hair I put gel in it and just made it stick straight up. My hair was still wet, I hadn't dried it that way. I went to see the kids and asked them what they thought. Mikel just laughed at me, and Katie said,"wow mom. That's not awesome". Ah my daughter, the fashion/style critic.

Friday, January 26, 2007

I have a little black cloud over my head

Ok, I'll start with Monday. Dh got a speeding ticket. Tuesday, he wrecked his car. We don't have car insurance. Then Wednesday night, we got our vehicles reposessed. Yeah. It's been a lovely week. So now we're trying to figure out whether we want to get our cars back. Dh's car isn't driveable. Or if we just want to start over. It's a complete and total mess

Just beware. If you have anything through a credit union you should ask about "cross-colateralization". Because if you have multiple loans with a credit union or even a credit card and a loan, if you should happen to default on either one, they can come and take whatever it is that you have a loan or loans on. So because we defaulted on our credit card with the credit union, they came and took everything that we had with them. They will not tell you about this. It's in your contract, but they won't go out of their way to tell you about it.

Bottom line, we need to learn how to manage our money better. We really have been living beyond our means. We overextened ourselves, but by the same token they helped us. Oy!

Katie has recovered from her cold and tonsilitis. She's back to her same perky little self. We're on our last day of three doses a day. Now we just have one dose a day of the two allergy medicines. Mikel is still his annoying almost seven year old self. It's a phase. His other friend is doing the same thing. He's old enough to realize things and understand sarcasm, so he's turned into a real smart-ass. They both eat like horses and I'm dreading what it's going to be like when they're teenagers. There's already enough door slamming and yelling going on as well. I may have to ship them to Siberia.

Monday, January 22, 2007

I mailed poo today

Yes. Yes I did. Sounds fun right? Apparently the old ways of obtaining a stool sample are over. Now you can do it at home and mail in the poo! Ok, so you're not actually mailing a piece of poo. You're just mailing a little smear. That sounds really gross. But without going into great detail that's all I can come up with. I know I have a very strange sense of humor, but mailing it in just seems funny to me.

Did you ever have one of those moments while driving that you think, "where is a cop when you need one"? Today after dropping Mikel off at school I pulled out into traffic. Most of the time I do an illegal U turn and go home. Pretty much everyone does it because the only other way is about a 5 mile drive. Back to me. Today I saw a Sherrif's Deputy driving up behind me, so I just drove straight and planned on making a left turn down the dead end street and doing the U turn there. Some lady two cars ahead of me pulls into the right hand turn lane and starts to turn. What she was really doing was swinging wide to do an illegal U turn. Right there at the intersection. So as I start to drive forward she swings her van around and does a U turn right in front of me. If I hadn't been paying attention, I would have hit her. I honked my horn at her and she gave me a dirty look. I hoped that the sherrif saw her. Sure enough, as I start to make my turn the lights come on and he does a U turn and pulls up behind her. Haha! I went down to the dead end and turned around and as I drove around the corner they were standing there and I could tell she was arguing with the deputy. I'm still laughing about it.

Friday, January 19, 2007


Thank Goodness It's Over! The week it is. I say that because it's not just that it's Friday. The week is over. I'm exhausted. Katie has tonsilitis and some sort of horrible cough. For four days I hovered over her. She tends to have problems with her asthma any time she gets a cold. Practically every time she ends up in the doctor's office receiving breathing treatments. I've gotten used to it, but I like to avoid it if I can. So now we've got 10 days of 3 different medications 3 times a day. She's just not that into it.

I need a haircut. I need to go grocery shopping. Tomorrow is sign ups for baseball and softball for the kiddos. It's going to be a busy weekend. I hate those kind of weekends. Last weekend was great. I never got out of my pajamas. I napped. It was good. I didn't get to see a movie this week. I forgot I had an appointment with a podiatrist. That was fun. I wouldn't want to look at people's feet all day long. I don't see the glamour. There's lots of glamour in being a mom. Cheerios stuck to your clothes, that frantic look in your eyes, the ability to sleep standing up.

Friday, January 12, 2007

I know you're out there!

A little birdy told me that it's national delurking week. So say hi. I don't bite. Well, just my husband and that's only because he likes it.

I'd like to voice a complaint about this week's House episodes. Why show two new episodes back to back and then nothing for the next three weeks? Surely this qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment. I understand about American Idol starting next week and I'm very excitied. But why take away my House? Don't they understand the addiction?

I saw the Pursuit of Happyness earlier this week. If you get a chance you should really go see it. It's a great movie and a wonderful, very inspirational story.

Dh comes home today. We're all very excited. A week and a half doesn't seem all that long, but it was. It really drug by. So while the kids are at school today I'll be shaving and plucking and getting ready to give Dh a proper welcome home. If you live in SoCal and you feel an earthquake tonight, don't worry. That's just us celebrating a safe return.

Thursday, January 11, 2007


Everytime I sign into Blogger I check the remember me box. But it never remembers me. I think Blogger is trying to tell me something.

Why does my son only wet the bed when he's sleeping with me? And only the night after I've washed the sheets. Is that like washing your car and then it rains?

Why do the kids want to drink my soda, even though they have one of their own? Some things are sacred. Sodas, french fries, and the comfy chair.

Why is it that kids only want to help you when don't want/need their help, and then when you want them to help they act like they're dying?

Why is it that kids can't wait to go swimming and then don't want to take a bath?

Why am I still exhausted after I overslept by an hour?

Why do I have so many questions today? I sound like a three year old.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


I don't know why, but I just took a good look at my keyboard right now and omg is it gross! Nasty, dirty keys and who knows what I would find if I took some compressed air to it. Blech! My computer will be down for some much needed maintenance later. It's just too gross.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to wear out a six-year old boy? Today I plan on taking him outside and having him ride his bike until he doesn't want to any more. I'm hoping that works. Otherwise I'm considering the treadmill. At bedtime he's completely wired. I'd try warm milk, but he can't have anything to drink two hours before bedtime.

I'm so excited that my favorite shows are coming back this week. That holiday re-run crap was incredibly frustrating. House tonight and Grey's Anatomy on Thursday. American Idol starts next week too. I so can't wait for that.

I'm going to go see The Pursuit of Happyness today. I just love Will Smith. I think he's a great actor and I love his movies. I wanted to go see Dreamgirls, but neither theater in town is showing it. What a bummer.

Eww! I just notice there's all kinds of crud in the keyboard tray too. I know I was sick for a week, but dang. How on earth have I managed to not clean this thing? Wow. I'm amazed. I'd take a picture, but I think I've embarassed myself enough just by writing about it.

Monday, January 08, 2007


LaKatie has this thing about water. She loves it, and that's great. I'm glad I don't have to try and get her to drink it. She prefers water to juice or anything else. But here's the thing. She only likes cold water. Ice cold water. I know you're thinking that what's the big deal about that? Well, we have a water cooler so it's easy for her to get her own water. Again, the big deal is??? She doesn't just get herself a drink. She fills the cup and the sets it down somewhere and forgets about it. Then later when she wants a drink she either pours the water out in the sink because lord have mercy it's gotten warm! Or, she forgot where she put it and gets herself another cup, and it's not ok to just put an ice cube in the warm water either. Oh no! That stuff had better be fresh lady. Even if does only cost $1.25 to fill up the five gallon water bottle, it sure seems like we're pouring a lot of money down the sink.

Can you hear the angels singing? The kids go back to school today. My freedom has returned! One of my new year's resolutions is to go see a movie every Tuesday. I love going to the movies and I'm a member of the Regal Crown club, so I earn points towards free stuff like popcorn and movie tickets each time I go to the movies. Since Tuesday is free popcorn day, I thought that would be a good, wallet friendly day to go. I can see all the chick flicks I want to see while the kids are at school and earn free tickets so I can take the kids to see the movies they'd like to see. It looks like a win, win situation so far.

Dh is still in Vegas. The convention starts today so hopefully he won't be so bored. Can you imagine anyone being bored in Vegas? If anybody can do it, it would be my husband. I guess being there with the people you work with isn't exactly an ideal situation. It would be more fun if he wasn't there to work most likely.

I started a new routine with the kids last night. No tv while going to bed. It's going to be a rough time getting that to stick. Both kids threw screaming fits, but I'm hoping that it won't take too long for them to get used to it. It's mine and dh's fault really, but the kids are the ones suffering for it. It's just not good for them and they stay up later than they should. Especially Mikel. That kid is a night owl if I've ever seen one. He'd stay up until who knows when and then sleep all day. Not good for a little boy that's going to school. Plus he's not getting enough rest and it's making him really cranky, and that makes me really cranky.

Friday, January 05, 2007

I don't know why they call it winter break

It's not a break for us parents. Maybe a break from having to get up and get ready for school for those of us that stay home, but for everyone else, not so much of a break. The kids are definately ready to go back to school. They've been fighting all day. Most of the week after christmas was spent recovering. I got tonsilitis for christmas and it was a gift that kept on giving. For a least a week. Thank goodness the kids didn't get it though. So this week was spent trying to make up for a so-so first week of vacation. Dh left for Vegas on Wednesday for the CES show. That's the Consumer Electronics Show. He's going to be gone for 9 days. Uninterupted tv watching in the evenings for me. How I shall enjoy it.

Tuesday we spent the afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese's and spent a whole lot of money to win stuff that's nothing but junk. Wednesday we drove DH to the airport and that was an experience. I'm dreading having to drive back by myself next Friday. Thursday I took the kids to see Happy Feet. A very cute movie, the kids really enjoyed. La Katie really shook her groove thang during the whole movie. Today we went to McDonald's for a couple of hours and enjoyed the playground. If the weather improves we may spend the day at the park on Sunday.

I finally took down all my Christmas decorations today. The christmas lights on the house will have to wait for dh. I'm so not about attempting that on my own. I'm crazy, not brave.

We had a nice visit with my parents over New Year's weekend. Even though our truck broke down new year's eve and dh and Mike were left sitting by the side of the road waiting for a tow truck for three hours. It's been repaired and is thankfully back in running condition. Driving dh's little car is really unappealing. It's just a little commuter car. A two-door, stick shift. Not exactly kid friendly transport.

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