Ugh

I'm tired, let's face it. I'm pooped. I'm so ready for Mikel and dh to come home. They've officially been gone a week and that's long enough. Unfortunately my fil is still pretty sick, he had a stroke about three days ago. I'm not babysitting for the next three days so I may drive down there and get Mikel and bring him back. He's missing school and baseball games and I know he's not sleeping right. Plus I'd really like to see my parents and my fil. I'm not looking forward to the 6 hour drive, in a stick shift. Blech! I've done it before, and it wasn't pretty.

The babysitting is going well. C is an angel, most of the time. He's getting his first two teeth so he can be a little cranky, but over all he's sweet. He's learning to crawl so he pulls himself along with his arms and is pushing with his legs. Feeding him is a challenge. He's figured out how to blow raspberries with a mouth full of food. I feel like I'm at a Gallagher show. Just about every other bottle results in a massive flow of puke. Almost excorsist like. I know feed him wearing a very large towel and rain gear.

I Love Lucy

I'm telling you, my life is an I Love Lucy episode. Last night my daughter woke up and wanted a glass of water. So I got up and went to our water cooler. Usually Katie leaves her cup on the shelf next to the water cooler. The thing is, she only likes cold water. So I picked up the cup and dumped the contents into the fish tank. That was not a good idea. It wasn't a good idea because Katie hadn't left a cup full of water there, she had left a cup full of hours old chocolate milk. Yes you read that correctly. I poured probably four ounces of curdled chocolate milk into the 12, oh yeah, 12 gallon fish tank. Nothing wakes you up like realizing you probably just killed two of your children's pets. When they say "death by chocolate" they probably didn't mean it that way.

So this afternoon I finally worked up enough nerve to clean out the tank. Amazingly the fish were still alive! Hardy little suckers aren't they? So after emptying the tank and washing the rocks, the filter, the little fishy toys, and the inside of the tank I start filling it back up. After the third trip with the pitcher I decided that there had to be a better, faster way to fill up the fish tank. With the water hose of course!!!! That's brilliant! Wile E. Coyote suuuuuper geeeenius, yes that's me. I enlisted the help of my loving daughter. Here kid, hold this hose in the fish tank. I've mentioned that she's only four years old before right? I turn the water on and what does she do? She lets go of the hose. The wall and the carpet are now soaking wet. Oh, and so is Katie. I ran out to shut off the water and the tank overflowed.

Don't you wish you were me? Seriously, I know you want it. You ain't got ta' lie baby! Thank goodness I own a lot of towels. Water mops up pretty easily and now my carpet is clean! Sweet. What I really can't wait for is to hear Katie's version when dh finally comes home from visiting his dad.

Btw, my fil is at home now. Turns out he didn't have medical insurance and so the doctors decided to release him back into the wild. He's doing about as well as can be expected for having had a heart attack a week ago.

Oh no she didn't!!!!

My daughter called me a freak today.

The sad thing is, she's right.

My hands smell like a baby

The first day babysitting went rather well. Being a mom is like riding a bike, you never forget how. I did get puked on several times and it didn't bother me at all. My daughter however was completely grossed out, especially by the poopy diaper. The baby is a complete doll and is incredibly easy going. I'll most likely be taking care of him five or six days a week. Right now it's easy, we'll see how crazy I go once my husband and son come back from visiting my fil.

I totally smell like baby puke and that sweet baby smell and I LOVE IT!

Please, take a moment of your time . . . .

and help me support my friend Lisa in collecting donations to take part in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Los Angeles in September. She lost a dear friend to breast cancer and is doing something to help insure that we find a cure. Someone you know has breasts, so please do your part in seeing that we don't lose any more wonderful women to breast cancer. You can donate at Lisa's Personal Avon Walk Page or through paypal to labsnabys@gmail.com . I appreciate any help at all.

Someone pissed in our cheerios

After that bouncy, bubbly post yesterday just as I finished publishing, my husband called. I was all set to tell him the good news when he dropped the bomb. "My father just had a heart attack". Amazing how you can go from walking on air to crying in a dining room chair. So far as we know my fil is in the hospital and there has been no change in his condition. I'm extremely fearful as heart disease runs rampant in my husband's family and my fil smokes like steam train and lives on coffee. My husband is be rather calm about it all and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to have to meet him at the door with a packed bag and tell him to "just go already!" I really like my fil, unfortunately he can be a complete ass just like taught my husband to be, but when he visits us he's always on his best behavior and I really enjoy him being here. He's always been very nice and polite to me and if he should not recover from this I will miss him a great deal. I can't begin to comprehend how I'll tell my children that their Papa is gone if that happens.

Yeah baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I called this morning to see about my disability check and found out from the recording that it was being mailed today. Then, the check showed up in the mail!!!!! Money, money, sweet money! I am so going grocery shopping by myself tonight even if I have to hold a gun to my husband's head. Hot damn I might even put on makeup and a clean shirt.

That's pretty pathetic isn't? I'm more excited about grocery shopping than I am about getting new shoes. I'll most likely start receiving hate mail and death threats, but I don't care. I'm going to go buy four cases of diet caffeine free pepsi and bathe in it! The only other thing I'm excited about is that now I'll have money to buy ice cream to eat while watching America Idol. It's a ritual. I may actually be giving myself OCD. But again, I don't care! I also got a job babysitting an adorable 6th month old baby boy starting Wednesday. Can anyone say spending money??? For me and me alone. Hello haircuts, pedicures, and manicures. I haven't seen the lady that does my nails in so long I might very well french kiss her when I see her (I won't, but it's tempting). My feet are horrifying. They actually scare my children.

Workout - weights (chest and legs), abs, and half an hour on the treadmill

God, Grant me the serenity . . . . .

To not roll my eyes,
grit my teeth,
pull my hair,
scream at my kids,
talk to myself under my breath,
or sharpen the carving knife excessively.

Make me grateful,
for the gifts I have received
and continue to receive.
My health (if you can call it that),
my sanity ( I only talk to myself when I'm alone, so it doesn't count)
my children ( to quote Adam Sandler in Big Daddy "children are great, as long as they're not moving or speaking" )
my loving husband ( he still hasn't wished me happy mother's day, the jerk )
and my home ( it looks like shit, but the roof is still holding )

I love my children, I really do. I don't scream at them, ever. I have raised my voice many times and intend to do so many more. If you're wondering what brought this on, it could be the fact that the gift my husband gave me for mother's day was a pair of sunglasses that he bought for himself and decided he didn't like. Yes, he regifted me, the bastard. I know, it's the thought that counts. So on father's day I'm going to give him the white purse I bought last year and no longer use. He did buy me a caramel frapuccino from Starbuck's and took me to dinner at Outback Steakhouse, so he's not a total loss.

Despite that I love him, cause well, he's hot.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!

A little early, but still good. My son's class held a mother's day tea complete with little finger sandwiches with the crust cut off. Among the many gifts were coupons good for various favors such as hugs and cleaning up his own toys. The big gift was a Kentucky Derby like hat made from a pastel colored plate. The teachers took pity on us and actually assembled the hats so they actually looked somewhat wearable. If you're into that sort of thing. Although there was one mother sporting what looked like a firework exploding from the top of her head. They sang us many "mother" themed songs and then actually served us the tea and sandwiches. It was very cute and I was extremely surprised that my son actually stood on stage. He didn't sing so much as move his lips and swayed from side to side, but it's the thought that counts.

He's asked me about a dozen times since then if I'm still proud of him. I think he's waiting for me to change my mind. Especially after I found him throwing my daughter's Hello Kitty slipper at the dog repeatedly just minutes after we got home. I told him I'll always love him and always be proud of him, but the animal cruelty has to stop. For that, the dog is pretty proud of me too.

I want a soda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm craving a soda so bad right now I'm ready to sell some of my jewelry to get one. Or at least put one of the children in a sweatshop for the afternoon for a case diet caffeine free pepsi. Yeah, I know that doesn't really seem like soda. But to the addicted, it is god! I had to give up caffeine because of my acid reflux and because my shrink says it causes anxiety. Doesn't that just suck. I never noticed the anxiety because I was to busy sprinting around my house cleaning at the speed of light and leaping tall buildings in a single bound. Sure I had heart burn like hell had suddenly taken up residence in my chest, but hey, my house was clean!

I ran out of soda about four days ago. Since the workman's comp money quit coming and the state disability checks haven't begun to arrive. I have no money. Well, I'm not completely broke. We have money for the essentials, like the house payment and asthma medicine, but the diet pepsi isn't really a priority for the rest of the household right now. I thought only caffeine withdrawals were supposed to give you a headache, but that's not true. It's the lack of carbination. We've been lied to people. It's an honest to god conspiracy.

I have to quit typing now as Katie is standing next to me giving me the evil eye. She wants to play her Reader Rabbit Game and if I don't get it started soon she will emit a high pitched whine that will shatter ear drums all over the world.

Workout - 30 minutes on the treadmill

Be good to yourself

You have to take care of yourself so you can be healthy and fit to take care of the people around you. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that. I often put others before myself but to the point that it is unhealthy for me. I find myself stopping now and considering what I do, so that I make the right choices that are healtiest for everyone, myself included. I'm really not doing my children any favors by cleaning their rooms for them and not waiting for them to ask for help before giving it. I don't want to raise a Jessica Simpson or Jesse Simpson in the case that one of my children is a boy. It's my job as a parent to teach them to become well-rounded adults that know how to take care of themselves. Sometimes we think that it's easier just to do things ourselves instead of taking the time to ask or show someone how to complete a task. It can be even harder to watch them do something not exactly the way we do it. Breathe and let go, because in the long run, you make it easier on yourself and you teach those around you that they too are capable of doing the things you do for them by themselves.

I realize that it's easier said than done. But once you start and you see the power that you hold, it's really almost hard to stop. You don't have to turn into a dictator, but you must be the adult/parent. Stepping up to the plate takes courage, confidence, and strength. If I can take the step, so can you.

Workout - weights (back and triceps), abs, and treadmill

Oh my achin' head!

I have a monster headache today. Probably because I didn't get any sleep last night. Between my daughter being sick and forgetting to take my sleeping pill it was a really rough night. I was awake more than I was asleep and just couldn't get comfortable. My doctor says that in two weeks we will mostly likely be switching my meds and that may help things a lot. I'm still looking for the pill that will make me slim and fabulously rich. If anybody finds it, let me know.

I took Katie to the doctor yesterday and while he isn't diganosing her as having asthma, that what he thinks she has, and the non-diagnosis because????? So after three, yes three breathing treatments and three different prescriptions we were allowed to go. After racing to get Mikel (my son) to school half an hour late!!!! We dropped off the prescriptions to be filled and then I got to take Katie for her first ever chest x-ray!! I'll consider that preparation for future mammograms, even though there was no squishing involved for her. Now we just have the daily struggle of getting her to take her medicines, which only takes about an hour of bribery, threats, and pleading. Not necessarily in the order though.

I'm contemplating taking classes to become an accountant or CPA. I've always liked bookkeeping and have a talent for it and I think that it's something I can start my own business with and work from home. Or at the very least I'll have more skills to get a better paying job. While I would really prefer to work from home, it may be unavoidable for a little while. At least both of the kids will be in school this fall and that will give me time to work on whatever it is I'm going to be working on. I think I might enjoy trying some freelance writing work, even though I have doubts about my writing ability.

Workout - weights (chest and triceps)

Huh?

My doctor gave me some sleeping pills because I told him that I wake up several times a night or I wake up and am awake for hours. Last night was the first night that I took one. Whoa baby did that sucker work! I was able to wake up when the kids needed me, but this morning when dh's alarm clock went off, I couldn't find the snooze button. The button is huge, it takes up the whole top of the alarm clock and I couldn't find it. I just stood there holding the clock looking at it with one of those confused dog looks with my head tilted to the side with the alarm blaring the whole time. Finally my husband grabbed it out of my hand and shut it off. Maybe I'll just take a half pill tonight and not risk my brains turning into mush.

I did my weights yesterday morning, but totally wimped out on the cardio. My doctor said it could take up to a month for my sleep to even out and for me to feel normal again. Who knew that trying to live on two hours of sleep a day could do so much damage! I started taking a multi vitamin in the morning, hoping that will help.

Our sliding screen door is on it's last legs. The handle just broke off, it's all stretched out and now it's bent. Probably because I kicked it when the handle fell off.

Worth Every Penny

For some completely insane reason my dh insists on driving with the windows down. Why did we pay extra for the air conditioning if we're not going to use it? The point is, while drive to the air show at March Air Force Base yesterday, ( with the windows open! ) I killed a fly with my sunglasses. Well, the fly hit my sunglasses, thereby killing itself. The really super gross part was that the dead fly landed in my lap and after finding something suitable for fly removal I then had to clean fly guts off my sunglasses. However, it makes the $182 I spent on these veree cool, sophisticated looking sunglasses completely worth the outrageous amount. Who knows? If I had been wearing my cheapo $5 from WalMart the fly may have shattered the glasses and lodged itself in my eye! Maybe next time I'll try catching the bugs in my teeth.

moving on . . . . . .

What is up with headbands? I bought some for myself when my hair was shorter and the darn things kept slipping off! So I gave them to my daughter thinking that maybe my head was just too fat. Fortunately that's not the case because they kept slipping right off of her head too. I suppose it's possible that we just have really small heads. Today while shopping I bought her some child sized headbands, not the kind that are like giant rubber bands, but regular head bands. Those won't stay on her head either. I know these things work, cause I've seen several people wear headbands succesfully. I just refuse to accept that my daughter and I have misshapen heads.

and another thing! . . . . . .

Why is it that when you go to the trouble of cleaning out the car your children then find something that instantly converts to crumbs and dump it on the back seat? I spent a good hour on saturday cleaning out our truck and what did my daugther do today? She brought along for the ride to school half a dozen barbies and for the ride home, a bag of potato chips which are now residing on the back seat of the truck in a million tiny pieces. Just the chips, not the barbies. I just had a horrible visual of dismembered barbies all over my car. Yuck!!!

this is the last thing, I promise, really . . . . .

We had a nice weekend. The weather finally decided to straighten itself out and give us something that actually resembled spring. Saturday I helped my son practice baseball, then I convinced him to help me clear all the crap from our lawn so dh could mow the lawn. The lawns have not been mowed in a good two or three months, probably longer for the back lawn. Our backyard looked like a rain forest and our frontyard looked like we were trying to start a weed farm. After the clearing of much trash, toys, and lost small animals I went inside and told dh that we cleared the lawns so he could mow them. Not exactly subtle, but the fact that every time we let the dog go into the backyard we lost him for three days didn't really seem to be driving the point home. After that we just lazed around and enjoyed the lovely weather. Katie ( my daughter ) and I sat on the patio and ate lots of yummy fruit and made fun of the boys.

Sunday we went to the air show, as I mentioned before already and on the way home stopped off at a park to play. I went down the twisty slide several times and enjoyed the swings to the amazement or embarassment of my children. Even better was that I didn't have to cook dinner that night!