Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Paging Dr. Daniels, Dr. Jack Daniels!!!!

Oh sweet lord have mercy on me. The man is driving me insane. I'm seriously making a concerted effort here not to pull every last one of my hairs out. It started with a conversation about money. Dh did a side job and was paid with a check. He IMed me to say that he needed to cash the check and we needed to have him added on to our new checking account. So I offered to meet him at the bank to accomplish this. He then stated that he wanted that money to be used as a payment on the credit card. I told him that we needed to use that money to pay the car payment and loan payments. He then replied that the money was there when he deposited his last check from his last job. I said that well yes at the time the money was there, but with needing to put gas in the car and him needing some things for work and his inability to say no to the children, the money is now gone.

Breathe. Try to make this sound intelligible.

I would so love to post the actual conversation. That would probably be a little much though, wouldn't it?

Any who, it all boiled down to the fact that he couldn't remember a statement I had made not five minutes before and in writing no less. He just couldn't understand my frustration. He said that I called him a jackass, which I did not. He said I made him feel like an illiterate fool. All because I said that I was frustrated at having to repeat myself, more than once I might add. He also said that he's not some pathetic punching bag. I'm still not sure where that came from. I didn't resort to name calling or being rude,yet he's acting as though I did.

It's driving me up the freakin' wall. Now he says that he's becoming increasingly concerned with my anger at him. WTF? I don't know how he gets the impression that I'm angry with him. All this week I've greeted him with a kiss and hug when he gets home from work. Dinner has been ready when he gets home. I just don't get it. I really don't. Not only does it frustrate me, but it hurts my feelings. He's the only person I seem to have this problem with.

The last time I saw my therapist he said that I'm smart and very practical and that I have a good head on my shoulders. He said that I'm one of the most practical people he's ever met and that I'm only a small portion of the problems we're having. Dh is taking medication, but obviously it's not working. He really needs to be seeing somebody. Now that he's changed jobs we won't have insurance for 90 days and our current insurance runs out at the end of the month. This could go really, really wrong. I've made a follow up appointment with his doctor and I'm going to go with him. The doctor has tried two different medications and has doubled both and neither of them has worked.

Frankly I'm nervous and scared. In the past this type of thing hasn't gone well and I really don't want this to drag me down. I've been doing so good for a while now that I really hate to see it end. Oy. Sorry to get all dramatic and depressed on you, but it needed to come out.

Thank you. I feel better now.

1 comment:

Kristin said...

Hang in there. I hope it all works out for you two.


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