Edit Me

The original

My edit. So I flipped the picture softened it, did a lomo-ish filter in Picnik and some cross-processing and then I added the quote! I should really take notes about what I'm doing when I edit.

The Buzz About Me 4

This Weeks Questions:
1.  If you had to label yourself as to one genre of music you listen to the most, what would it be?
Country. I love country music. It's the white girl in me, what can I say?

2. What are five items that you always keep in your purse?
My Phone, chapstick, cough drops, gum, and a bottle opener. A bitch has to be prepared lol

3. If you could drink only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Duh, coffee with whiskey in it. If that's all I'm gonna get I need caffeine and alcohol.

4. What are three tv shows you miss watching that are no longer aired?
Six Feet Under, Ace of Cakes (no Duff don't gooooooooo!), and Rescue Me (it's the last season it totally counts)

5. What is one cd your own that people would laugh if you told them you actually bought that?
I don't know. I used to own a lot of embarassing cds lol. Probably Britney Spears, but that was like 5 years ago and I don't even have it any more so maybe it doesn't really count?

6. What is one job/career you told yourself you would never do even if it was your last resort?
Porta-potty cleaner. I can't stand to clean my own bathroom. There is no way in hell I'm cleaning some porta-shitter.

7. How did you decide on the name{s} of your child{ren}?
The donor picked my son's name and it's a completely normal name that is spelled all screwed up so nobody ever pronounces his name right. I picked my daughter's name. There was a last minute fight in the hospital over her last name. She was supposed to be Katherine Scarlett after Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With the Wind.  The donor was against it, so she has the same middle name as me and my mom! 

8.  What is one show you refuse to miss no matter what?
Rescue Me. I love that show. I'm going to miss it. Thank goodness for DVRs and entire seasons on DVD.

9. How many miles would you say you drive in a week?
I have a 45 minute drive to work each day. I don't even want to know how many miles I'm putting on my truck. Plus I drive between sessions, so it seems like I'm getting the oil changed every other month. Ugh.

10. Who is one celebrity you wish would just go away & disappear off the face of the earth never to return?

I don't know. Lindsay Lohan, probably for her own good. She needs to seriously get her shit together.

Wordless Wednesday- It's all about the boots

Tough Shit Tuesday

Good Mom Bad Mouth has started an awesome fucking hop and because I'm cool like that I'm going to jump on. Go check her out and link the fuck up bitches!

I had an old friend invite me out for "free beer" this weekend. I think he thought he was gonna get some post-break up revenge sex. Tough shit . . . . you get none

The girl wanted her DS back two days early. Tough shit . . . . when mama says you're grounded, you are grounded.

I wanted to leave for the lake on Friday night.  Tough shit . . . . . . I have to wait for the donor to get into town so he can take the boy.

I want to eat one of the giant Costco muffins that are downstairs right now. Tough shit . . . . . mom says they're for the lake.

Work tried to change my schedule at the last minute. Tough shit . . . . I already made other plans. See you Thursday bitches! I'm gonna go play!

Post It Note Tuesday - Hello my name is Rachel and I am a single mom!!!!

Go visit Kristin at Only Parent Chronicles to link up!

Tell 'Em Tuesday

You can link up and answer the questions with a picture or with words if that's what you want to do. Let's support this bitch and do something fun on a Tuesday!

The questions

1. If you could have a pet that is out of the normal what would it be?

A hedgehog! Isn't it cute? Lol

2.  If you could "pimp" out a car any way you want it, what would it look like?

I'd probably do a little more to it. Like put more lights on it, cause I'm a dork.  Hopefully it will be 4X4 too.

3. If your life was made into a movie, who would you want to play you?

Christina Ricci, she's hot right? And a little weird, which I like lol.

4. Who is your favorite TV psycho?

I guess I don't watch enough tv, cause I don't have one. I'm psycho enough on my own.

Fun stuff huh? Now go link up!

Just because I like this quote

“There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn’t one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way.”

—	Wasted by Marya Hornbacher

Music Monday - Freebie Week!

Joan Jett is just awesome.



Because I have a sense of humor. What's a break up without this song right?


I just like this song. Definitely something new and different.


Say what you will, but Coldplay does have some decent stuff.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh

Shit I Hate Sunday

Link up to vent about all the shit you hate. It's therapeutic and I would know, I'm a therapist.
Shit I Hate . . . . . . lame ass surveys on Facebook. Seriously, my life does not hinge upon what kind of Sesame Street character I am.  
Shit I Hate . . . . . douchebags that can't park straight. I drive a truck too, you don't see me parking crooked and screwing it up for everybody else. Straighten your shit out.
Shit I Hate . . . . . . not having a maid. Cleaning sucks.
Shit I Hate . . . . . . that I still feel confused about the break up.  But I'm getting better.
Shit I Hate . . . . . not knowing how to unlock the summer of Klout thing. 
Shit I Hate . . . . . weekends not being long enough. 
Shit I Hate . . . . . being a broke bitch. The end of the month always sucks.

Six Word Saturday

Plans with friends. Roller derby night!!!!!!!!!

Five Question Friday

1. Did you make any fun purchases this week? I got a coupon for 50% off at the Irish pub that's right up the street from my house. Nothing says fun like beer that's 50% off!

2. If you could go to any musical concert, what would it be?I really wanted to see Michael Buble. He was here and I was too poor for tickets.

3. What is your least fav/ most fav house chore? Least favorite, cleaning the toilet. The boy doesn't have very good aim. Maybe I should make him clean it.  Most favorite, I guess vacuuming. Is none of the above an option?

4. Would you prefer new appliances or clothes? New clothes. I have appliances I don't use in storage. I'd really like to have a place that I could use them.

5. Miracle Whip or Mayo? Mayo, but I don't really use it that often. If we bough Miracle Whip my dad might throw us out. Excuse me, I'll be right back. I have to go to the store.

Blog Stalk Friday

Go stalk this bitch.  She's awesome. True story.

Thursday Thirteen

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

—	Theodor Seuss Geisel

Take chances, make mistakes. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave. 

-Mary Tyler Moore

"You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn't worked. 

Try approving of yourself and see what happens." 

- Louise L. Hay

"The hardest thing you can do is look back and see what the person you love has done to you."
-Sammi Giancola

“Discipline doesn’t cost you. It pays, over and over again. Discipline makes what you already have, more valuable. And with discipline you can create much more new value. Do what is in the best interest of everyone involved, even when it is not comfortable or easy at the moment. Long after the immediate inconvenience and discomfort are gone, you’ll be enjoying the rewards of choosing to discipline yourself.”

- Ralph Marston

Real difficulties can be overcome;
it is only the imaginary ones
that are unconquerable.
-Theodore N. Veil

“Some lose all mind and become soul, insane. Some lose all soul and become mind, intellectual. Some lose both and become accepted.”

—	Charles Bukowski

‎"The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't." ~Henry Ward Beecher




“Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.”

—	Douglas MacArthur

“Life’s tough, it’s tougher when you’re stupid.”

John Wayne Many failures of life are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. -Thomas Edison "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." Robert Frost

If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

-Unknown

The Buzz About Me 3

This Weeks Questions:
1. What was the first concert you attended?  Julian Lennon. How hilarious is that?
2. Who was your celebrity crush{es} when you were younger?  John Travolta, Jon Schneider, and somebody else but I can't remember.
3. Who is your celebrity crush{es} now? Ryan Reynolds, Jason Momoa (holy epic hotness batman!), Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Gerard Butler. Lol, I think the list is pretty long
4. What is one of the strangest/unique things about you? I don't know about strange or unique, but I am developing quite an addiction to going to fires. I'm going to start training to be a First Responder soon. I'm excited!
5. What are three fears you have? Something happening to my kids, never being able to get out of my parents house, and spending the rest of my life alone. Wow, at least I can admit it huh?
6. What is one question that you have been asked so much that if you are asked one more time, you will punch someone? Before the break up, it was when were we gonna get married? Now, it's "can I see your tattoos?" Hello, you can clearly see it because you know I have it! You're already looking at it if you can't see it that's your problem.
7. What nationality/nationalities are you? Mexican, Scottish, and Irish
8. What is one physical feature you like about yourself? My eyes9. What is/was your favorite three reality shows? One Man Army, Top Shot, and Cupcake Wars. How random am I?
10. What three celebrities are you guilty of liking that everyone else seems to hate? I don't think I do. Nope, I got nothing.

Pouring my Heart Out - Bear with me, it's going to be a long post

I'm still confused.

I keep thinking about what he said, and looking for the reason why. Every time, I ask him, I get the same answer. "Nope." That's not it.

Is is possible? Could it really just be him and not me? 

Is it me going to school? No

Is it the kids? No

Did I do something wrong? No

Is it because I go to fires now? No

Does he want to see other people? No

Was I pressuring him? No

I get what he means about my family. Hell, they drive me insane. Yesterday was a prime example. I don't want to be here. I can't really blame him for not wanting to be here.

I keep looking at what happened like it's some sort of puzzle and if I just mess with it long enough I'll find the missing piece and be able to pinpoint where it all fell apart.  Like this will suddenly soothe my heart and erase the pain, the anger, and the confusion.

I knew things were rough. We're both struggling to get good jobs and move out of our parents houses.  This economy blows and California isn't particularly helpful when moving here from another state and you have certifications and whatnot that the state doesn't recognize. I know things didn't go according to plan for him, and I wasn't happy with the situation either. I could see that it made him unhappy, I could see him struggling. But I was happy with him. I thought our relationship was good.  I thought we were okay. Perhaps that's what is most confusing. I was happy with our relationship, and apparently he wasn't. And again, I don't understand why. Because I haven't been given a reason. Other than it's been building up for a while.

He still loves me, but he's not in love with me any more.

He said we can still be friends.

He doesn't know what the future holds.

He has too much to get squared away and doubling it is not possible. Meaning us staying together isn't possible.

He doesn't want a relationship. 

He hasn't deleted the friendship on Facebook. He still as far as I know follows me on Twitter.  He still reads this blog, as far as I know. All this is confusing too. But then again, I haven't deleted him either. I'm scared to take that step. To delete his number from my phone, which is what I really should do. So I can stop texting him expecting him to give a different answer. Don't get me wrong, I'm not obsessively sending messages. I've tried to keep it to the bare minimum as we separate the few things we had together. I don't know if it's habit that keeps me wanting to talk to him. He was my best friend and now that's gone.

I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. I really did. 

I told him that I can't be his friend right now. He hurt me, he hurt my kids and really confused them.  Seeing his name, his face, even him responding to me gives me hope where I shouldn't have it. It makes me think he MIGHT change his mind, and it really looks as though he won't. 

Which brings me to this, I know I've heard this quote before, I just can't remember where. So if you recognize it, let me know where it's from.  "You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over analyzing a situation.... or, you can just move the fuck on!" I know what I need to do. I need to just stop and take a deep breath, put on my big girl chonies and move on.

Once I get through tomorrow, when he brings back my treadmill, I should be able to do that. I just hope I can hold myself together while he's here and not turn into a psycho, or worse yet beg him not to leave.

Wordless Wednesday

Post It Note Tuesday

Music Monday - Back to School!

I went a little outside the box with this one. I'm a preschool teacher. Well, I'm a behavioral therapist, but I have two degrees in Child Development, so I'm a teacher too! But I digress, this lady is amazingly awesome, she is Lisa Murphy otherwise known as the Ooey Gooey Lady! Enjoy and watch these songs get stuck in your head!

Shit I Hate Sunday - The Break Up Edition

Shit I hate . . . . basically being broken up with via text message. 
Shit I hate . . . . . . the "it's not you it's me" line. Yes my family is crazy, but who's isn't? 
Shit I hate . . . . knowing I'll probably never sleep next to him again. Even if he did snore.
Shit I hate . . . . . having to explain what happened, even when I have no idea what the fuck just happened.
Shit I hate . . . . . losing my best friend. That "we can still be friends" shit isn't gonna cut it. I've seen what's on the "girlfriend" side of the fence. I want that. I was put in the friend zone. WTF?
Shit I hate . . . . . the whiny blog thing I'm doing right now. But like any woman I must whine and cry and nag. At least until I've had enough beer that I can look at the bright side and right now there is no bright side.

I didn't know how bittersweet this would be

I heard
That you're settled down
That you
Found a girl
And you're
Married now

I heard
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things
I didn't give to you

Old friend
Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me", I beg
"I'll remember", you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday
It was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise
Of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me", I beg
"I'll remember", you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
"Don't forget me", I beg
"I'll remember", you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me", I beg
"I'll remember", you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead" 


Pardon my dust while I work through this.  There may be  lots of sappy posts and much whining, but I'm never down for long.  Break ups are rough and this one hurts pretty bad. I thought I had found somebody to spend the rest of my life with and he was my best friend and now it's gone and I don't know what to do. I can't imagine going a day without talking to him much less sleeping in his arms. I don't understand what happened and I'm lost.  

Six Word Saturday

I just love three day weekends!

SOOC Saturday

My SOOC shot

My edit

Five Question Friday

1. Do you close the bathroom door when you are home alone? Yes, but only because there's windows on the front door and I'm not sure if somebody could see into the bathroom. Might scare away door-to-door salesmen though!

2. You have to walk around with a word on your forehead. That word describes you. One word. What is it? Driven. It covers a lot of things. Driven crazy by my kids. Driven to drink, by my kids. Driven to succeed and get the hell out of my parents house!

3. What store do you refuse to shop at and why? I don't really refuse to shop any where. I try not to shop at WalMart because I worked there once and they treat their employees like crap.

4. If you participated in arranged marriages for your child(ren), who would you choose for your child(ren)? Somebody with the patience of a saint. Both of these kids are pretty high maintenance. They must get that from their dad.

5. If you could pick how and when you would die, would you? No. Well, maybe.

Blog Stalk Friday

Go visit this hooker and find some kick ass blogs to stalk!
You can find my blog's Facebook page.
I'm also on The Twitter.  I always laugh when people call it THE Twitter. I have THE Twitter. Is that like having the consumption? The vapors? I apologize, I got off topic.
And because I'm everywhere with my terrible grammar, find me on Google+.
Have an awesome weekend!

Versatile Blogger Award

Nikki Darlin' at Southern Mama with a Bad Mouth gave me this awesome award!

The Rules after accepting the Versatile Blogger Award are:
Thank the person who gave it to you and link back to them in your 


post.


Share 7 things about yourself.


Then pass it along to 15 newly discovered blogs.

7 things about myself:

1. I am constantly glued to my crackberry.  I think I might actually die if my phone didn't work.  I use it for everything, work, my stuff with the Red Cross, and all my appointments. Plus can you imagine not having Facebook, Twitter, and other stuff constantly at your fingertips?
2. I took cake decorating classes when I lived in Southern California. I can make the fancy tiered wedding cakes and all the pretty flowers. I wanted to open a bakery at one point and contemplated culinary school.
3. I'm the Coordinator for the Disaster Action Team for the local chapter of the Red Cross. We respond to house fires and other disasters where people are displaced and need help.
4. The last two months have really kicked my butt.  I thought things would calm down after I finished school, but no.
5. I heard that the local community college has a degree in Disaster Preparedness, I actually considered going to school for that. I think my family would kill me. Maybe after I get my Master's in Early Childhood Special Education.
6. I'm a bed hog. When my boyfriend isn't here, I totally sleep in the middle of the bed. Okay, so when he's here I sleep in the middle. Hahaha
7. Of all the stuff I have in storage, most of it is books. Boxes and boxes of books. I need a library.

I'm always finding awesome blogs, so here are some of my new favorites!

Optimistically Pink

The Bitchy Housewife

Sensual Ride

Ruby Rocks

The Buzz About Me 2

This Weeks Questions:
1. If you could live back in any time period, which one would you pick and why? The antebellum south. Gone with the Wind is my favorite book. EVER. 

2. What is your favorite color? Blue
3. What is your favorite fruit? It's a toss up between strawberries and mangos. I love them both.
4. What is your dream car? 1971 Mach 1 Mustang
5. What is/was your favorite Disney movie? The Little Mermaid
6. What is your favorite genre of movies? Probably action movies or comedies. 
7. What's the last movie you watched? Captain America
8. Busy city life or simple country life? Simple country life. Get me out of this city. It's driving me crazy!
9. What is one thing you tell people about yourself that they just don't understand? People always look at me like I'm crazy. I'm not sure if it's something they don't understand or I really am crazy.
10. Did you ever want to change your name when you were younger & if so, what did you want to change it to?  No, I think I was always happy with my name. It's unique but not weird. I don't meet a whole lot of Rachels.

Wordless Wednesday

Showing off his muscles

Post It Note Tuesday

Music Monday - Freebie Week!

I found this song after going through a bunch of cds I found. I forgot how much I love this song.


Great song, great band.


I love Miranda Lambert. The message may not be all that great, but the song is good.


Another awesome song.  A little disappointed in the video, I was expecting something better, but this will do.

Six Word Saturday

I don't have to do anything!