Favorite Photo Friday

Here is the edited version of my Wordless Wednesday. Definitely my favorite photo this week.

Friday Funny

We've made it through another week so it's time to link up your funny shit bitches! Remember you can post anything that makes you laugh; videos, pictures, stories, jokes, as long as it's going to make us laugh.

No More Muffin Top Blog Hop - 4

One of these days I'll get smart and combine all these on Friday so I'm not posting the same shit over and over. Nobody wants to read that.


Any way! Go visit The Chunky Goddess and tell her some crazy bitch sent you.

Blog Stalk Friday

Go stalk this crazy bitch. Then find me here:
Google+ and here
The Twitter
and here
Facebook
and here
Tumblr
and here!
Pinterest
Happy Fucking Friday Hookers!

Thursday Thirteen

Because I'm lazy lol. My last 13 Pins on Pinterest

What the FUCK Wednesday?!

Random shit appears to be happening this morning. Prompting me and Rockin' Mama to say, "What the FUCK Wednesday?!"


So share with us your WTF? Let's help each other get through hump day.


Aunt Flo arrived a week early. WTF Wednesday?! I seriously hate that bitch.

A Confession

I'm linking up with the awesome Shell at Things I Can't Say to once again, Pour My Heart Out

I don't know what I was thinking.  The attention was nice, but he wasn't you.  About 95% of the time I wished he was you.  I thought I was starting to get over you, but I was wrong.  Not a day goes by that I don't miss you and what we had.  You were my best friend and this just isn't the same.  I'm making a fool of myself and I don't care. Right now I don't care.  

I'm glad he turned out to be married.  The truth is that saved me from having to dump him on his ass.  I know I said I would find someone like you, but the truth is, there isn't anyone like you.  If there is, I don't want them. All I want is you.

My acting skills are non-existent.  So I hope I'm managing to pull off a convincing act when I see you. I hope it looks like I'm okay. I hope it looks like I'm happy.  It's hard to talk around my heart in my throat and the butterflies in my stomach.  I'm nervous and I don't know how to act.  I'm not good at pretending and I hate playing games.  So I'm going to flirt outrageously until you tell me to stop. I'm going to keep asking you to go out with me until you say no. Because, bullshit doesn't suit me and I'm being as patient as I can.

"The truth is I miss lyin' in those arms of his

But I don't ever let it show

I laugh and I act like I'm havin' the time of my life

As far as he knows it's

Easy . . . . goin' out on a Friday night 

Easy . . . . every time I see him out

I can smile, live it up the way a single girl does

But what he, what he don't know

Is how hard it is to make it look so

Easy"

Wordless Wednesday

Tough Shit Tuesday

Go link up with Good Mom, Bad Mouth and bitch about all the shit you're bitter about.
He wanted me to wait for him. Tough shit! Dude you're married so maybe you should talk to your wife.
They want me to cover four counties. Tough shit, I'm broke and gas is expensive. So either cough up the cash or find somebody else.
I have a 1/4 tank of gas and still no mileage check.  Tough shit, I guess I'll have to borrow more money so I can get to work. (this one kinda makes me want to cry)
Actually, fuck that. Tough shit work, you no give me the money, I don't show up.  That's how this shit works!!

Post It Note Tuesday - Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Music Monday

Shit I Hate Sunday

Shit I Hate . . . . . liars.  Seriously, biggest pet peeve ever. Sell your bullshit somewhere else.
Shit I Hate . . . . . people that leave comments on my blog just to get more followers. If you like my shit, then follow me. I'll stop by and check your blog out, if I like it, I'll follow you. I want the people that follow me to actually like and read my shit. If you don't like it, don't follow. 
Shit I Hate . . . . . . people that don't text back. I don't care if you're busy. I don't care if it's like 4 hours later, just answer my fucking text.  If it was urgent I would call your ass.  If I text I would still like a response!
Shit I Hate . . . . . . review blogs. Sorry ladies, I'm sure you're doing what you have to do to make money or get free shit. That's cool. I'm just not into that shit and I'm not going to follow. I'm a mom, but I'm not into products or labels or any of that other bullshit.
Shit I Hate . . . . . douchebag vultures that think just because I don't have a boyfriend that my vagina is having some sort of open house party. This is not your golden opportunity. I wouldn't touch your dick if it was two feet long and solid platinum asshole. Move along.
Shit I Hate . . . . . my mileage check didn't show up and I had to borrow gas money so I can get to work next week. I HAD TO FUCKING BORROW MONEY TO MAKE MONEY. I just paid to go to work. WTF? Oh yes I did break out the all caps bitches. Deal with it.

Six Word Saturday

On this, I will not cave.

Click the button to link up and describe your Saturday in six words!

Have a great weekend!

No More Muffin Top Weekend Blog Hop

Go check this lady out and spread some fit chick love!




You can stalk me here:

Tumblr

The Twitter

Facebook

Google+

Friday Funny - 4th Squad Dancing

This is too funny. I really need the laugh today! Help my ass out and link up!

Lovely Blog

Chrissy at A Lil Dash of Diva has given me this awesome award!  Be sure to check out her blog! She's one awesome hooker!

The rules for this award are:

1. Share 7 things about yourself

2. Award another 15 blogs with this award

So here we go!

1. I'm an impatient bitch.  Terrible. I can't wait for anything. It's like I'm two years old

2.  I fall in love/get attached way too easy. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Maybe it's time to wear a jacket and hide that shit.

3.  I've been going to the gym for over three months now and I'm finally starting to see some progress! Yay for loose clothes!!!

4.  Woot! Lost another 3 pounds! Happy Friday bitches!

5.  I lift weights, I don't just do cardio.  Helps with the badass image.

6. This probably should have been first, but I was on a roll. I love my kids. Even when they do annoying shit.

and finally,

7.  I'm a dork. A total geek.  It's part of my charm.

I don't think I can pick 15 blogs, that's a lot, but here's who I'm passing the award along too:

A Daft Scots Lass

Misadventures of a Chunky Goddess

The Bitchy Housewife

Good Mom, Bad Mouth

Tattoo'd Mama

Nikki Darlin

So I didn't pick 15, but these are some rad bitches. Go check them out!

Thursday Thirteen - Love

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy, age 6


"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terrie, age 4


"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is ok." Danny, age 7


"Love is when you kiss all the time.  Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.  My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily, age 8


"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby, age 7


"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka, age 6


"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle, age 7


"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy, age 6


"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared.  I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.  He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared any more." Cindy, age 8


"My mommy loves me more than anybody.  You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare, age 6


"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine, age 5


"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt." Chris, age 7


"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann, age 4

The Buzz About Me 7

1. What is the best vacation you have ever been on?

I would have to say, camping for a week at Sunset Beach. It was awesome and a very long time ago. I really need a vacation.

2.  What is the first amusement park you ever went to?

Disneyland! My parents totally surprised me and my brother. We had no idea until we were on the tram and the drive said "welcome to Disneyland". 

3. What is something you are allergic to?

I'm allergic to fucking everything.  Dust, pet dander, walnuts, kiwi, melon, avocado, bananas, and the list goes on and on and on . . . . . . 

4.  What was one kind thing someone did for you today?

My brother came over, fucked up foot and all and watched my kids so I didn't have to leave work early.

5.  What time is it right now where you are?

It is 7:24pm.  

6.  If you could choose to be any color in the crayon box, which would it be?

Royal Purple! I've always loved that color.

7.  What is your favorite quote?

I have lots, but I'm loving this one lately. "Be patient and tough; one day this pain will be useful to you." Ovid

I'm getting that tattooed on my ribs as soon as I get the money.

8. What was your high school mascot?

Knights

9.  Are you left or right brain?

Um, I think left.

10.  Vampires or Zombies?

Both!!!!!!

A New Chapter

I'm linking up with Things I Can't Say to Pour My Heart Out

It started out as something to do to fill the void the break up caused.  I needed something to do and having a pen pal seemed like a good idea.

I thought I would write a few letters about mundane stuff and listen to someone talk about how much they missed home, and maybe send a few care packages.

How quickly it turned into something else.

He sent me some pictures. I sent him a couple. (nothing naughty, I know how you hookers think!) A couple of weeks down the road and emails weren't enough. We started chatting on Yahoo.  Real time conversation is so much nicer.  

For now, we like each other a lot and I really can't give a whole lot of details.  I'm keeping this one mostly to myself for now.  Some of you know more and that's okay. I gotta share my happiness with my hookers, that's what hookers are for!  As of Sunday, I am in a long distance relationship. I don't know where it will go and it may turn into nothing. But, it could be a whole lot more than that. 

I've grown smart enough to know that you don't turn your back on a chance at true happiness.  My life is approaching a turn and I can't allow any possibility to slip through my fingers.

Wordless Wednesday

Tough Shit Tuesday #3

I wanted to sleep in yesterday . . . . . . . tough shit, somebody's house burned down. No sleep for me!

I wanted another salted caramel frappuccino yesterday . . . . . tough shit, no time.  Those things are amazing. So delicious.

The boy wanted to come in and bug me right now but my windows are open . . . . tough shit kid, put some clothes on. Haha!

I wanted to seriously steal that puppy from that house yesterday. They should not be allowed to have animals . . . . tough shit, that's not my call.

I was supposed to be off the call list for the Red Cross for the next two weeks . . . . . .tough shit, apparently some people don't know what a commitment to being on call means. (that's a whole other post)

I think I'm getting bored with my job. Even going to fires isn't exciting any more . . . . . tough shit, it's what I'm trained to do and somebody has to do it!

Music Monday - Songs from 1977

These ladies are awesome. I've been a fan for years.



Free Bird!!!!!! I once yelled that at a piano recital.



Awesome song. Great to run to!

Shit I Hate Sunday

Shit I Hate . . . . . when I wake up in the morning and the coffee isn't set up so all I have to do is push the button. Seriously, a little preparation please? Or tell me I need to do it. I could smack somebody
Shit I Hate . . . . . having to spend my whole weekend in class. Couldn't they have done this on a couple of weeknights? 
Shit I Hate . . . . having to drive 45 to class with someone who doesn't talk and only listens to classical music. Shoot me NOW!
Shit I Hate . . . . . having the instructor pick our teaching partners for us. This bitch has no clue and I'm doing all the work.
Shit I Hate . . . . . having slept wrong and fucked up a muscle in my neck so that the right side of my body hurts like hell.  My jaw hurts and I haven't done anything dirty to deserve it. Not fucking fair.
Shit I Hate . . . . . waking up and checking my phone and realizing he was online again and I didn't hear my phone. So pissed off that I missed him.  
Shit I Hate . . . . . . . having to wake up early on the weekend. This blows

Six Word Saturday

Training all weekend. This will suck.

Disaster Instructor Specialty Training this weekend. Saturday and Sunday. This is not exactly how I would like to spend my weekend, but we new instructors.  Maybe I can sleep my way through it?

No More Muffin Top Hop

I don't write a whole lot about my weight loss here. Maybe I should! Go check out this lady and her weight loss journey.

Friday Funny

She has a point and she's freakin' adorable!

So I've been told to make this a linky. Link up your funny videos, jokes, pics, whatever makes us laugh. It's Friday and we could all use a laugh!

Blog Stalk Friday

Click the button to stalk this bitch and find some other crazy bitches to stalk too!
Link up all your social networks whores!
FacebookTumblrTwitterPinterest
 
Because I suck and I missed this the first time. Join this crazy bitch that does not in fact love poop and link up.
 Have an awesome weekend whorebags. I'll be in class all weekend :(

Thursday Thirteen

My last 13 Pins on Pinterest